Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The strange world of Japan's AKB48

AKB48

Members of Japan's girl pop group AKB48 and its affiliated groups attend the annual popularity "election" event at Tokyo's Budokan gymnasium

AKB48 is not exactly a band. It's an army of girls-next-door, ranked by its fans, and after taking Japan by storm it's getting ready to go global.

More than 60 girls and young women, split into four teams, make up what is arguably Japan's most popular pop group. It performs almost every day, has spawned affiliates across the country and has given rise to sister mega-groups in China, Taiwan and Indonesia.

AKB48's big event is an annual vote - by almost 1.4 million fans this year - to determine who gets to record their next single, which inevitably becomes a hit.

AKB48 raked in more than US$200 million in CD sales last year alone.

The girls pranced and sang on stage before last week's vote as their fans waved glow sticks and sang to familiar tunes.

When the winners were announced, the girls cried, bowed deeply, thanked fans for their loyalty and promised to live up to their expectations.

Their singing and dancing aren't always perfect, and the group's ever-changing members are hard to keep track of. But fans are very forgiving to their flaws and view them as their friends or little sisters, not out-of-reach superstars.

There are other mass girl pop groups, such as South Korea's Girls' Generation and KARA, but they are more polished and have a set membership and no elections.

AKB is also much more accessible: Fans can visit their daily shows in downtown Tokyo, attend handshaking events or exchange messages via social media. After each show, all the girls line up outside the theater to see off the fans with high fives and exchange a few words.

''You get to watch them grow. In the beginning, perhaps they weren't very good, but then later you see them evolve and shine on stage,'' said Kao Yi-wen, a Taiwanese student who was among three overseas fans selected to attend last Wednesday's election results at Tokyo's Budokan hall.

Founder and producer Yasushi Akimoto formed the group in 2005, calling them ''idols whom you can go and meet in person.''

Fans get to see a slice of their ordinary lives by reading each girl's blog. The organisers have published DVDs showing backstage scenes, including personal struggles and conflicts among teams.

But performances can seem orchestrated. As the girls sing and dance in unison, fans follow a cheering formula, shouting ''A! K! B! 48!'' Fans know exactly when and what to do - like an experienced Kabuki audience that knows when to yell an actor's name at the right moment during a play.

Now Akimoto is taking the enterprise abroad, creating what are essentially AKB48 clones in Jakarta (JKT48), Taipei (TPE48) and Shanghai (SNH48).

JKT48 is the farthest along. The Indonesian group follows the AKB routine exactly, down to the opening cheers, with the same songs and choreographed dancing. The only difference is the Indonesian translation of most lyrics.

''I wasn't fully confident (AKB) could make sense to anybody but the Japanese, and I thought hurdles would be higher overseas,'' Akimoto said in a recent TV interview. ''But I want to tell everyone that 'let's have confidence.'

Today the world is watching Japan, and we are also watching the world.''

The main group got its name from the location of its theater in the downtown Tokyo district of Akihabara, sometimes called ''Akiba,'' the birthplace of Japanese ''otaku,'' or geek, subculture dominated by comics, anime and video games.

AKB is still shaped by those influences: Many of its members dress in schoolgirl uniforms like characters in comic books, and some members talk in a cartoon-like, high-pitched sweet voice.

Many Japanese, including self-described ''geeks,'' are not seeking a superstar like Lady Gaga, said Takuro Morinaga, an economist at Dokkyo University who is also an expert of Japan's ''otaku'' culture.

''They are certainly cute, but not outstanding beauties,'' he said. ''You can probably find one in your classroom, and that's what makes them likable.''

Core fans are mostly men, but AKB is gaining a following among teenage girls and older women.

Some critics say they come across as sex objects that encourage men to exploit young women. They sometimes perform in itty-bitty bikinis for video clips or pose for photo books.

But others say they have a positive, hard-working image: They are required to devote themselves to AKB, wash their own laundry and aren't allowed to have boyfriends.

The group initially had three 16-member groups - Team A, Team K and Team B - hence the number 48 in its name. It has expanded to at least nine sister groups and teams of ''interns'' around the country - including SKE48, NMB48, and HKT48, representing various cities.

Only people who bought the latest AKB CDs or joined fan clubs are allowed to cast ballots, which can be done online.

People gathered in front of TV screens in downtown Tokyo for last week's election. Morinaga said it ''seems to be monitored even more closely than the real elections.''

The top 16 performers will record the next single, and the number-one vote getter sings in the center position. For most girls, the primary goal is simply to make the top 64, which brings more TV and other media exposure.

Yuko Oshima, the winner two years ago, returned to the top seat with 108,837 votes.

''I really wanted to be up on this stage again,'' the tearful 24-year-old said.

''I was under enormous pressure (to win).''

She praised the younger girls for their ambition and said ''that is what will keep us going.''

Many of the performers - aged 14 to 26 - said they have ''no special talents'' but vowed to improve and continue to pursue their dreams to become a top singer, dancer or actress, and eventually ''graduate'' from the group to go solo.

So far, no AKB alumna has made it big on her own.

Joseph Salmingo of El Monte, California, found AKB48 through the Internet while studying Japanese. He was among the three overseas guests who won tickets to the election by submitting what's considered the most enthusiastic cheers for the girls.

He said he enjoys the drama that he sees in the group - friendships, rivalries and dreams.

''There's just so many of them and each one has their own story,'' he said.

''It's kind of like a reality show.''

- AP

Andy Whitfield doco seeks donations

Filmmakers behind a documentary following Spartacus: Blood and Sand star Andy Whitfield's battle with cancer are asking fans for support.

The Australian actor died last September at the age of 39 only 18 months after being diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

The film, by director Lilibet Foster, follows Whitfield and his family over the course of more than a year while he dealt with his diagnosis and explored both medical and alternative healing option in Australia, New Zealand and India.

This unprecedented access and his openness and honesty give the audience an intimate look into his personal life.

"It was Andy's hope that by opening his story up to a documentary, he might help or inspire others facing similar challenges, while pushing to accelerate the pace of cancer research around the world,"  the filmmakers say.

"We now need your help to finish it. The money we raise on Kickstarter will fund the additional filming and editing needed to finish the film.".

You can also read more on the film's Facebook page.

Watch the trailer here (but make sure to have some tissues ready).

- Cover Media

Lady Gaga shows her bruises

Lady Gaga has posted a photo of a black eye she suffered during her last New Zealand show after being struck in the head with a pole by one of her dancers.

The 26-year-old singer took the picture while she was staying in Brisbane yesterday and wrote: "Emerging from hours of sleep. Still remiss if I should go outside, with this clonker I may be of questionable styling."

Gaga was performing her song Judas at Vector Arena on Sunday when one of her dancers accidentally hit her on the top of the head with a large metal pole he was moving.

The incident was caught on camera and shows Gaga stagger when struck, before leaving the stage.

According to the website TMZ.com she told the audience: "I want to apologise. I did hit my head and I think I may have a concussion. But don't you worry, I will finish this show."

Gaga's make up artist Tara Savelo confirmed on Twitter the singer had suffered the concussion. 

"Gaga has a concussion but she is going to be OK. She wants u to know she loves u. I'm taking care of her. Cant believe she finished the show."

She went on to perform another 16 songs on Sunday, the last of her three Auckland concerts.  

- © Fairfax NZ News

Fairytale returns with more sparkle

You've probably seen countless renditions of Cinderella - but the Royal New Zealand Ballet's upcoming production of the fairytale is tipped to top them all.

The RNZB - and more than 100,000 Swarovski crystals - will bring the fairytale to life.

The ballet performed Cinderella in New Zealand and China in 2007, making it one of the most popular shows in the RNZB's history - and now it's back.

Renowned British choreographer Christopher Hampson's has breathed new life into the timeless rags-to-riches romance, which will tour seven centres throughout the country from August 2 to September 9.

"As one of the most loved fairytales, Cinderella has been enchanting audiences of all ages around the world for many years," RNZB artistic director Ethan Stiefel said.

"Our rendition of the story lifts the magic from the page and embraces the belief that dreams can come true, whilst elegantly showing off the dancers' talent and versatility."

London-based choreographer Hampson has created five ballets for the company.

"The story is classic... the cruel stepmother, the comedic stepsisters, a handsome Prince and a magical Fairy Godmother.  But composer Sergei Prokofiev has given us more than this.  For me his score shows growth, honesty, humility and love.  It is a tale that shows us a journey from dark to light," Hampson says.

Costume designer Tracy Grant Lord has had more than 100,000 Swarovski crystals woven into her designs, including Cinderella's tutu and the cloak that she wears to the ball and in insect costumes and wings, the stepmother's negligee and the spider's web.

The TOWER Season of Cinderella

Wellington
Thurs 2 – Sun 5 & Wed  8 – Sat 11 August
St James Theatre
Featuring Vector Wellington Orchestra

Invercargill
Tues 14 & Wed 15 August
Civic Theatre

Dunedin
Sat 18 & Sun 19 March
Regent Theatre

Napier
Thurs 23 – Sat 25 August
Municipal Theatre

Palmerston North
Tues 28 & Wed 29 August
Regent on Broadway

Takapuna
Sat  1 & Sun  2 September
Bruce Mason Centre

Auckland
Wed 5  -  Sun 9 September
ASB Theatre
Featuring Auckland Philharmonic Orchestra

More information: http://nzballet.org.nz/cinderella

- © Fairfax NZ News

Bailterspace announce new album

New Zealand noise rock legends Bailterspace are releasing their first new album in 13 years.

Revered as one of the loudest and most intense live bands of all-time, they haven't lost any of their bite or their love of tone, dissonance, and melody.

The band were once described by indie music powerhouse Pitchfork as "simultaneously beautiful, jagged, atonal, and supremely melodic" while another review described their sound as "one part Superchunk, one part Pixies, and one part Dinosaur Jr."

Strobosphere will be released on Arch Hill Recordings (NZ/Aus) and Fire records (USA/Europe) in August.

Originally a member of The Gordons, Alister Parker formed Nelsh Bailter Space with former Clean drummer Hamish Kilgour in 1987.

Shortening the name to Bailterspace, they eventually incorporated his former band mates from The Gordons, including Brent MacLachlan who has remained integral to the band since 1989.  

Often dubbed "the Sonic Youth of the Southern Hemisphere" Bailterspace soon earned fans here as well as overseas.

The band, signed to New Zealand label Flying Nun, relocated to New York in the early 90s and started to release albums also on NY indie label Matador Records.

After announcing a hiatus in 2004, the band never truly stopped working together, occasionally sneaking out to play an unusual show. A career-spanning retrospective, Bailter Space, was released in 2004.

Listen to Bailterspace's new single No Sense  or download it on Bandcamp.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Filmmakers call sexism

Lola

Greta Gerwig stars as Lola and Joel Kinnaman stars in Fox Searchlight Pictures' Lola Versus (2012).

Quickly: off the top of your head, how many movies have you seen - or at least heard of - lately that feature a young or middle-aged white dude floundering around and trying to work out the meaning of his existence?

(Indeed, a recent script search by an independent producer stated they were only interested in "a MALE lead 25-50 years old, multi-dimensional with some fatal flaw", presumably because there's a real dearth of those sorts of films around.)

Now, think about how many movies featuring a similarly shambolic female lead. There's Young Adult, Rachel Getting Married, and...? The most recent addition to the genre is Lola Versus, starring Greta Gerwig, which opened to a rather disappointing gross of $34,100 over four theatres in the US this past weekend. 

Remarkably, the filmmakers sent out an email that suggested sexism on the part of film critics was to blame for the film's lukewarm opening:

"The male critics are attacking the film and our box office really struggled last night. We think this has a lot to do with it being a female driven comedy about a single woman, and the older male critics don't like messy unapologetic stories with women at the center. There was a similar backlash against HBO's Girls at first from men, but we don't have the luxury of a full TV season to change their minds."

 So, did the critics sink Lola Versus?

In reality, probably not entirely. Even though the sort of cinemagoer likely to consider seeing an indie romantic dramedy is arguably more likely to take note of critics' opinions than, say, the person who just wants to drink a car-sized Frozen Coke through the latest CGI explosion showreel, the film's main problem was a crowded market.

Lola Versus had the misfortune of being released on the same weekend as Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom and the well-received Sundance favourite Safety Not Guaranteed. As IndieWire noted, both films targeted the "young, hip twentysomethings" market that Lola also sought.

(And there was also the small matter of some nobody called Sir Ridley Scott shunting his micro-budget mumblecore flick, Prometheus, into a handful of small theatres without much fanfare that same weekend.)

I should note that I haven't seen Lola Versus yet (I'm still processing my rage about the Nostromo-sized plot holes in Prometheus' terrible script, and recovering from the Red Vines I ate at the midnight screening), so I can't vouch for its quality either way.

And while having read all of the reviews, I'm not sure these ones are sexist, I'm certain that there is a real thread of sexism in film criticism.

(Not to mention the howling down you get if, as I am, you are a female film critic who dares to question the dominant Hollywood paradigm; read the comments on my review of The Descendants for a real laugh-a-line.)

There is a tendency for critics to gleefully rip into female-centric films, whipping themselves into a feeding frenzy in a critical game of one-downmanship.

A perfect example is the response to Sex And The City 2. Now, I'm not suggesting the film was critically wronged - indeed, at one point while watching it, probably about around the time my soul escaped my body as Samantha threw condoms at generic "Middle-Eastern" men, I found myself wondering whether it might be the new Ishtar. But the film was attacked by critics in a way that male-fronted equivalents (say, Hall Pass or Hot Tub Time Machine) weren't.

As The Guardian noted at the time, "The spectacle of a lot of grown women together - particularly ones who are not suffering - apparently fills them, bafflingly, with contempt. The women/actresses/characters/whatever are old, ugly inside and out, bitches, lewd sluts, whores, venal, selfish, haggard, vulgar, self-pitying, neurotic 'girls'. These are all words from the reviews."

There are plenty of other examples; most romantic comedies and dramas ("women's interest" films) tend to receive a harsher critical once-over than the glut of films in which white men consider their place in the world (which get Oscars). But then, when the industry itself is hopelessly sexist, what do you expect?

It would be nice to think that in this brave new post-Bridesmaids world, female-fronted films could expect a slightly easier go of it. Unfortunately, for the most part, it's still a hard slog.

There were dozens of projects awaiting the production greenlight when the Kristen Wiig vehicle opened; "Let's wait and see how Bridesmaids does" became a convenient shorthand for producers and studio heads who were wary about sinking dollars into a new movie about women.

Had Bridesmaids failed, the studio rhetoric would have been completely different than the way in which they deal with the lukewarm performance of a male-fronted comedy; it would have been "proof" that audiences "aren't ready" for a female buddy movie.

One thing the industry and the critics have in common is the sense that once you've seen one film about women, you've seen them all. There are already grumblings about the fact that the upcoming Bachelorette appears to cover similar narrative ground as Bridesmaids. God forbid we make two movies about women behaving badly at a wedding! Don't make me quote Highlander again, but... well, you know.

Which brings me back to the fact that the main thread between the reviews of Lola Versus seems to be that critics find the film's premise "generic": a woman is dumped and flails about on the brink of 30. I can't think of the last time a similar film about a male protagonist was widely decried as "generic". So, the more I think about it, maybe that team Lola Versus email is right.

- The Age

Actress Ann Rutherford dies

Ann Rutherford, the demure brunette actress who played the sweetheart in the long-running Andy Hardy series and Scarlett O'Hara's youngest sister in Gone With the Wind, has died. She was 94.

A close friend, Anne Jeffreys, said she was at Rutherford's side when the actress died on Monday evening at home in Beverly Hills. Rutherford died of heart problems and had been ill for several months, Jeffreys said.

Rutherford's death was first reported by the Los Angeles Times (http://lat.ms/MEPubi ).

"She was a dear person, a very funny lady, wonderful heart, was always trying to do things for people," said Jeffreys, a leading lady of many films of the 1940s and a star of the 1950s TV sitcom Topper.

Rutherford was a frequent guest at Gone With the Wind celebrations in Georgia and, as one of the few remaining actors from the movie, continued to attract fans from around the world, Jeffreys said.

"She loved it. It really stimulated the last years of her life, because she got thousands of emails from fans," Jeffreys said. "She was in great demand."

She was also known for the Andy Hardy series, a hugely popular string of comical, sentimental films, that starred Lewis Stone as a small-town judge and Mickey Rooney as his spirited teenage son.

Rutherford first appeared in the second film of the series, You're Only Young Once, in 1938, and she went on 11 more. She played Polly Benedict, the ever-faithful girlfriend that Andy always returned to, no matter what other, more glamorous girl had temporarily caught his eye. (Among the other girls: Judy Garland and Lana Turner.)

It was said she won the part of Carreen - the youngest of the three O'Hara sisters in Gone With the Wind - because Judy Garland was filming The Wizard of Oz.

Rutherford told the Times in 2010 that MGM head Louis B. Mayer was going to refuse her the role, calling it "a nothing part." But Rutherford, who was a fan of the novel, uncharacteristically burst into tears and he relented.

Rutherford plays the sister who, early in the film, begs to be allowed to go to the ball at Ashley Wilkes' plantation. "Oh, Mother, can't I stay up for the ball tomorrow? ... I'm 13 now," she says in a sweet voice.

In 1989, she was one of 10 surviving GWTW cast members who gathered in Atlanta for the celebration of the film's 50th anniversary.

"Anyone who had read the book sensed they were into something that would belong to the ages, and everyone was in a frenzy to read the book," she said.

"The specialness of this is with each generation of young people who are touched by Gone With the Wind," she said. "As long as there are little children, there will always be a Mickey Mouse. ... On an adult version, 'Gone With the Wind' does that."

Rutherford concurred with other cast members that no matter what else they had done, "Our obituary will say we were in 'Gone With the Wind' and we'll be proud of it."

In a 1969 Los Angeles Times interview, she lamented that the "permissive generation" of the 1960s wasn't getting the old-fashioned parenting that the fictional Andy Hardy got.

"Someday someone will have to sit down with today's youth and give them a man-to-man talk," she said.

She also joked that "my life has reached the point where I'm now 'camp.'"

Rutherford was born in 1917, according to the voter records reviewed by The Associated Press. Some sources give other dates. The daughter of an opera tenor and an actress, she began performing on the stage as a child.

She launched her movie career in Westerns while still in her teens, often appearing with singing cowboy hero Gene Autry and sometimes with John Wayne.

She joined MGM in 1937, playing a variety of roles for several years before leaving the studio to freelance.

Among her other films: Whistling in the Dark, with Red Skelton, 1941, and its two sequels, Whistling in Dixie and Whistling in Brooklyn; Orchestra Wives, with bandleader Glenn Miller, 1942; and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, with Danny Kaye, 1947.

She largely retired from the screen in 1950, but appeared in a couple of films in the 1970s, They Only Kill Their Masters, 1972, and Won Ton Ton - The Dog Who Saved Hollywood, 1976.

Her first marriage, to David May in 1942, ended in divorce; they had two children. In 1953, she married producer William Dozier, a union that lasted until his death in 1991. He was best known as the producer of the Batman TV series.

Vivien Leigh, who played Scarlett O'Hara, died in 1967. Evelyn Keyes, who played the middle O'Hara sister, Suellen, died in July 2008.

Rutherford recalled that the night of the "Gone With the Wind" premiere in Atlanta, author Margaret Mitchell invited the cast, including Leigh and co-star Clark Gable, to her home for scrambled eggs. Gable and Mitchell disappeared.

"Clark Gable and Margaret were hiding in the bathroom, Clark on the edge of the tub and Margaret you know where, just talking," she chuckled. "They had to get away from the photographers."

- AP

Kris Humphries extorted by ex

Kris Humphries is reportedly at the centre of an extortion plot.

The basketball player, who is currently going through a divorce from Kim Kardashian, had apparently dated Myla Sinanaj for a short period but was not in a serious relationship with her.

RadarOnline reports that Sinanaj was allegedly telling media outlets that they were serious and then tried to get money out of Humphries to remain silent.

"Myla is truly acting like a woman scorned," a source told the site. "She didn't get what she wanted from Kris and threatened to go to the press and ruin him if he didn't pay her off."

"Myla wanted millions of dollars; it was outrageous. Kris has nothing to hide and decided to have his attorney, Lee Hutton, contact the FBI.

"Kris will meet with the FBI this week and turn over text messages and emails he had exchanged with. Kris had to go to the FBI because he truly believes that she is capable of making up crazy lies about him."

Humphries' marriage with Kardashian lasted 72 days. The basketball player believes that his entire relationship with Kardashian was staged and will present proof of this at the former couple's upcoming deposition in June.

- Cover Media

New trouble for Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan lied to the police after her auto-accident.

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly under suspicion of lying to police officers.

The Mean Girls star was involved in a car accident last week when her Porsche slammed into the back of a truck.

But TMZ claims that the actress told officials that she was not driving and that it was her assistant behind the wheel.

Sources told the site that when Lohan was being treated in hospital she was visited by officers from the Santa Monica Police Department.

Although Lohan told them she wasn't driving, her assistant had told police that  Lohan was in fact behind the wheel when the car crashed.

Officials are now reportedly writing up a report about Lohan's alleged lie as it's a crime to provide false information to a police officer.

If this is the case,  Lohan could now be in violation of the probation in her shoplifting case and could be sent back to jail.

Eyewitnesses at the scene told the site that they saw both  Lohan and her assistant exiting the crashed vehicle from the passenger side.

The 25-year-old actress is currently shooting Liz & Dick, which is about Dame Elizabeth Taylor's relationship with her two-time husband Richard Burton.

- Cover Media

Modern fairytales true to dark roots

With a dark colour palette, an unsettling tone and an opening quotation from the pages of a fairytale - "The wolf thought to himself, what a tender young creature. What a nice plump mouthful" - the new television series Grimm very quickly lives up to its name.

Its origins lie with Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, brothers who, in the 19th century, were the authors of a set of iconic fairytales including Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Snow White.

Many of those tales have become most familiar through interpretations by the Disney studio, made somewhat more saccharine than the darker texts on which they are based. The television series Grimm returns to those original texts, replete with violence and murder.

Set in the present day, it follows homicide detective Nick Burkhardt (David Giuntoli), based in Portland, Oregon, who discovers he is descended from the Grimm family and tasked with policing the creatures of myth and legend who survive in the modern world.

His first cases include cannibalistic hunters (based on the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears), a missing persons case involving a feral girl (Rapunzel), the murder of a school teacher (The Pied Piper) and an arson case (The Three Little Pigs). Aiding him is an unlikely ally: Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell), a good big bad wolf.

The series is produced by David Greenwalt (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Jim Kouf (Angel, Ghost Whisperer) from a concept brought to them by Todd Milliner (Hot in Cleveland) and the former Will & Grace actor-turned-producer Sean Hayes.

Greenwalt says he and Kouf were immediately struck by the concept. "[It was] the idea of Brothers Grimm in the modern world, as something that would have appeal to adults and also to children," he says.

The stories endure, Kouf says, because they have their origins "in very basic human desires and needs". "What we're doing is trying to ground them in a reality, so in Grimm, the big bad wolf exists, in real life," he says. "He really is a big, bad man, but the behaviour is the same. That's what we find fun about it. Taking these creatures and showing the human side of them."

The makers felt it was a logical choice to make their adaptation a crime series. "A lot of these fairytales have crimes in them, so we've just turned that into a crime drama; plus, the show is a bit of a hybrid, so somebody who loves Law and Order, who loves procedural shows, could watch our show and feel comfortable with it," Greenwalt says.

The Details

What: Grimm

When: Monday, 8.30pm

Where: Four

- © Fairfax NZ News

Too many fat and fart jokes

Fat jokes can only take a script so far.

I've heard of interventions for people with drink or drug problems, but new Kiwi comedy Golden (starting on Sunday at 7pm on TV3) begins with an intervention for someone who has had too many pies.

Gold-medal-winning former rower Shelley Bowman, played and co-created by Lucy Schmidt, has packed on the kilograms since she was last on the water.

When her bossy mother, Bev, stages an intervention, she is confronted with the truth about her increasing weight.

"I'm not on drugs," wails pyjama-clad Shelley as she lies on the sofa with a box of doughnuts nearby.

"More's the pity. Janine's daughter's on the P and she's lost 10kg, but then again, she has also lost 10 teeth," retorts her mother.

It seems like a good idea for a comedy – a top athlete who has gone off the rails and is struggling to get back to the top, but the first episode feels a little bit too fixated on visual fat jokes.

There's fat Shelley eating bacon crisps. There's fat Shelley squeezing into her Lycra one-piece rowing suit. There's fat Shelley sitting on a chair that breaks.

OK, we get it, she likes cakes.

When it's not fatness, it's other body issues. Bev suffers from some explosive bowel problems – after trying the cayenne pepper and maple syrup diet. "Beyonce lost 9kg on it," she says before running for the toilet.

Meanwhile Shelley's ex-boyfriend and trainer, Paul (Joel Tobeck), is obsessed with the size of his manhood after Shelley commented about it to a woman's magazine after a breakup.

"In case you're wondering, I'm average in the undies department – average – because I checked. Caucasian males, right down the middle, 52nd percentile, July Men's Health," he says to Eliot within minutes of appearing on screen.

His obvious insecurity is funny, but by the fourth or fifth penis-size joke, not so much.

All this anatomical humour is about as subtle as a battering to the head with The Bumper Book of Fat Jokes, and it's a shame, because the situation and the characters have potential.

I particularly like Bev (Jennifer Ludlam), who is the perfect bossy, smothering mum with some great lines.

Shelley's cousin, Eliot (Jesse Griffin), is good in his dual role as a timid physiotherapist and all-round lackey.

There are some moments that made me chuckle, such as Bev showing Eliot her wedding-dress photos and suggesting it might do for his future bride one day.

"Janine's daughter's looking," she tells him.

"The P addict?" he replies.

"Oh, she's a lovely-looking girl when she's got her mouth closed."

Hopefully, in the coming weeks we will see the characters develop a bit more and the laughs coming from some good writing rather than fat and fart jokes. After all, unless you're an 8-year-old boy, it's rare for bodily functions to be the funniest part of people.

Golden: Sundays, 7pm, TV3.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Who will be Masterchef 2012?

People predict who will win MasterChef New Zealand 2012.

OPINION: After religiously watching every single episode of Masterchef season three, I was hoping that I would walk away from the series with a collection of new cooking skills.

Instead, I'm left with the strong conviction that Masterchef is as much about cooking as The Sopranos was about waste management.

In other words, cooking is incidental to the real action. The punters don't want to see how to fillet a fish or fricassee a chicken or even how to get dinner on the table in 30 minutes, they want to see some hapless amateur cook wilt like spinach under Ray McVinnie's withering glare.

Product placement, slick marketing and clever editing aside, the thing that really gets me about Masterchef is that it does little to encourage ordinary people at home to cook.

Based on the Masterchef experience, cooking is hard, stressful and will possibly reduce you to tears (or at least leave you with a strong desire to stab Simon Gault).

I know a TV programme showcasing the basics of cooking might not hit the ratings heights, but in a country where food technology teachers are an endangered species in schools, it might end up being just the show we need.

Perhaps that would be a better prize for the winner of tonight's show, in which remaining finalists Chelsea Winter and Ana Schwarz must endure a two-hour cookoff.

The pair have seen off 14 other pretenders to this year's crown through a series of challenges judged by chefs Simon Gault, Ray McVinnie and Josh Emmett.

They have cooked at Huka Lodge, at a naval cocktail party and in the middle of a Singapore rainstorm.

There have been tears of joy and of disappoinment; smiles of satisfaction and defeat.

But tonight, as the programme's voiceover is fond of reminding us, there can be only one winner.

Winter is the contest's ice queen. The Auckland marketing executive is a cool, composed blonde with an impressively swishy ponytail that flicks around as she dashes from one end of her workstation to the other.

Schwarz, on the other hand, looks perpetually close to meltdown. The Waiheke mother-of-three has performed well throughout the competition, but she has worked hard for it, looking like each challenge will be her last.

Tonight one of them will walk away with the Masterchef title and all it entails - a car, a cookbook deal and the promise of untold riches in the form of ingredients sponsored by a major supermarket chain and some fancy kitchenware.

In a year or two they may find themselves demonstrating at The Food Show or endorsing a particular brand. A year or so after that, they'll be wheeled out at school galas.

But will they really have done anything to share their proclaimed love of food with others?

Join us tonight from 7.30pm for a live blog of the final episode.

- © Fairfax NZ News


Billy Connolly steps up for gingers

Scottish comedian Billy Connolly reckons his new film Brave is a rousing equality rally for women - and gingers.

The Disney-Pixar animation features a skilled young archer, Merida, whose father King Fergus - voiced by Connolly - wants to marry her off. But the red-haired and strong-headed Merida has other ideas.

''I hope girls will look at it and take strength from it to stick  to their guns and not be told what to do,'' Connolly told AAP from the red carpet event on Monday night ahead of the animation's  Sydney Film Festival premiere.

As for the ranga element - Brave unfolds in the Scottish highlands and red locks get a lot of screentime - Connolly won't have a bar of ''anti-folliclism''.

''Even as we speak, parachutes should be landing,'' he joked.

''People should be getting their asses kicked for using the R-word.''

Connolly told AAP that between the wet weather, the kilts and the bagpipes on show at the Australian premiere, he felt right at  home.

''Everywhere I go I have a (bagpipe) band marching behind me,'' he  quipped.

''It's just one of my diva requests. That's the way I live.''

He conceded Brave was a departure from some of his cheekier film roles. In a children's film, he said, there was no opportunity to swear or get his kit off - but he was just grateful to be doing  voice work, which meant he didn't have to see anyone.

''You can turn up as shabby as you like and I'm a kind of shabby guy so it suits me lovely,'' he said,

''You have to give as good a job for a four-year-old as you do for an adult.

''Swearing and being a bit out on the edge isn't necessarily the greatest thing you've ever done in your life...you just get on with it.

''The only thing that embarrasses me is sex scenes.''  

And what would he be doing for the rest of his stay in Australia?
''Sex scenes,'' he deadpanned.

He was better behaved as he welcomed some of the 800 fans, many sporting red wigs, who had come out despite the puddles to get a first look at the film.

Connolly said the film's Merida character was a strong role model for young audiences.

''It's kind of silly to think it's that powerful but I would like to think that girls will watch somebody insisting on going for their own destiny rather than be
dictated to what to do,'' he said.

''It's got the fairy tale side going for it but she's a strong little thing.''

* Brave opens in New Zealand cinemas on June 21.

- AAP

Monday, June 11, 2012

Predicting a Clap Clap Riot

New Zealand band Clap Clap Riot talk about their new album.

It's been a long time between drinks for Clap Clap Riot.  

Since forming in Christchurch in 2008, the four-piece has moved to Auckland, played the Big Day Out, Splore, Rhythm and Vines (twice) and toured New Zealand and Australia. They released an EP in 2009 and last year were nominated for a Silver Scroll Award. One thing they haven't done though is release an album.

Until now, that is. The bands' debut release, Counting Spins, is out this week and it seems it was the age-old issue of money that kept them so long.

"We've been busting our arse the whole time...with the exception of one of the singles on the album, it's been entirely self-funded... so it has taken a fair bit of time to get it all together," says guitarist Dave Rowland.

"There were two ways we could have gone with recording; we could have gone for a garage, home recording or do it in a professional studio. And we wanted to make sure the release was tolerable in a commercial realm, so it ended up meaning we had to put all that money into it."

Singer Stephen Heard says it was important for the band to retain a sense of independent ownership of the record, and doing it on their own terms meant having the freedom that comes with that.

"It was cool having the time to spend on getting sounds right and gelling and getting everything to sound like we wanted it to sound like. Rather than just going into a room and jamming out and getting that stuff later - we had time to fiddle with amps and play different guitars."

Recorded between Auckland's York Street Studios and Studio 203, Counting Spins features the Silver Scroll nominated track Everyone's Asleep, as well as handful of already radio-familiar singles.  

And these guys - Rowland, Heard, bassist Tristan Colenso and drummer Strachan Rivers - don't seem to be afraid of making radio-friendly music.

Asking someone to put a label on their art is often a painful exercise, but Clap Clap Riot are full of adjectives - "raw", "rock and roll" and "dirty" seem to be the popular ones, along with the naughty "p" word.

"It's a dirty pop record," says Rowland.

"One of the things people have said, is that we are this dirty, rock band, but we can't really steer clear of poppy melodies over the top, and so our songs have a really dirty feel to them, but over the top of that the vocals are quite poppy and the guitar melodies."

And while it might have taken a while to get here, these dirty pop and rollers are not stopping any time soon.

"We want to get our touring legs here in New Zealand," says Heard.

"Then by the end of the year we will work on number two, so the follow up is a lot faster... it's going to be bang, bang, bang for the rest of the year," says Rowland.

Counting Spins is out on Friday. Clap Clap Riot's album release party is at 4:20, K Rd in Auckland on Friday.  Tickets $10 from Under The Radar

- © Fairfax NZ News

Katy Perry has new flame

Katy Perry reportedly referred to Florence + Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd as "her boyfriend."

The singer split from estranged husband Russell Brand at the end of last year and Katy is believed to have recently ended her romance with 22-year-old model Baptiste Giabiconi.

The beauty has apparently moved on to dating Ackroyd, as they were seen holding hands at California music festival Coachella.

"Backstage at the Artist Lounge at Coachella last weekend, Katy kept saying her boyfriend was the guitar player for Florence + the Machine," a source told Life & Style magazine.

"She and a bunch of friends were supposed to go see Dr Dre together, but Katy said she was waiting to watch her boyfriend perform!"

Days later,  Ackroyd apparently began following Perry on Twitter.

He then shared about his experience at Coachella, seemingly mentioning Katy by her initials.

"Best Coachella ever. Scratch that, best weekend ever. Dre, Snoop, Pac, Nate, Fiddy & KP. (sic)"  Ackroyd tweeted.

Perry recently released Part Of Me, a song about a tough break up. Although she wrote it two years ago, it was apt in its release.

- Cover Media

Cowell has 'worst week of his life'

Simon Cowell is apparently "hardly sleeping" after sordid details of his personal life have become public.

The X Factor judge is not feeling good about the information coming from the new unauthorised biography.

A source told Britain's Daily Mirror that Cowell is feeling very depressed about being exposed and is upset that he isn't getting more support from television bosses that air his talent shows.

"Simon doesn't recognise the person that has been portrayed this week," an insider told the publication. "It's simply not him."

"He is feeling very low about his. He views it as one of the worst weeks of his entire life and he is hardly sleeping."

Cowell, 52, maintained that it is not his habit to "kiss and tell."

"I've never done it," he said. "I've always tried to keep my private life private, and it is so unfortunate."

"So I was feeling very embarrassed and not gentlemanly at all this week because it's just not my style."

Details of Cowell's love life, his alleged bullying of contestants and extravagant lifestyle have all been exposed in Tom Bower's tome.

- © Fairfax NZ News

G.I. Joe gets new marching orders

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

RETREAT: The star-studded sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation, will not be seen until 2013.

G.I. Joe won't be going into action on the big-screen this year, after all.

The Hollywood Reporter says Paramount Pictures yanked its sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation from its June 29 US release date and rescheduled the movie for March 29 next year.

While it's not uncommon for studios to shuffle opening dates, it is rare for such a big-budget movie to get the bump so close to its release. The movie had been scheduled for New Zealand release on August 2; No new release date has been announced yet.

Paramount executives told the Reporter the move was made so the studio would have time to convert G.I. Joe: Retaliation into a digital 3D version.

Action films often get most of their revenue from 3D showings, which cost a few dollars more per ticket and can boost a movie's prospects to make its money back.

Paramount did not immediately return calls from The Associated Press.

- AP


Tom Cruise: movie star, not rock star

Tom Cruise attended the European premier of his new film Rock of Ages in London's Leicester Square last night and was joined on the red carpet by fellow stars Julianne Hough, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti and Mary J. Blige.

Cruise plays the tattooed - and frequently shirtless - rock star Stacee Jaxx in the tribute to the big-haired, big-riffing glam metal sound of the 1980s. But when asked if he had the choice between the life of a movie star or a rock star, Cruise said he would to stick with his day job.

"I love my job, and I feel very privileged to be able to do it. It has been a dream of mine, and I love what I do," he said.

However, the Mission Impossible star makes a very convincing rocker, and he had to embrace all of his character's rock 'n' roll habits. These included being hands on with his female co-stars.

When asked about this, the ever cool Cruise said he took Jaxx's characteristics in stride. "It was a character, and it was something where you were trying to find where we can find the comedy. Comedy is different, from Les Grossman to this kind of character, and there is no half way with rock 'n' roll. You have to go all of the way, particularly with Stacee," he laughed.

Based on the musical hit, the movie tells the story of small town girl Sherrie (Hough) and city boy Drew (Diego Boneta) who share a dream of reaching dizzying heights in Hollywood. Their glittery romance is set to a rock 'n' roll soundtrack that includes hits from Def Leppard, Foreigner, Bon Jovi, and Poison.

Recording artist Blige, who also rocks out in the film, said she enjoyed embracing rock 'n' roll for the part. "It felt good. I mean it is the same energy as a lot of the songs that I sing, so it was very easy to do," she said.

The film has its fair share of intimate moments, with unlikely couples locking lips.

Brand shares a moment with Alec Baldwin, with whom Brand appears to be quite smitten. "He is a very sensual, erotic individual. He has a very powerful sexuality, and I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and wake up in his smile," he joked.

Actress Malin Akerman, who gets the pleasure of kissing Cruise, shared her words of wisdom on how to prepare for such a moment.

"A lot of mints, a lot of mints. You never want to kill your co-star. But you can't really prepare for that. You know it is going to be a funny moment. I loved it in the script, and you get there on the day and you just go for it," she said with a laugh.

Rock of Ages opens this Thursday in New Zealand cinemas.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Zombies high-jack highbrow poetry

It was three years ago that Time magazine trumpeted zombies as the new vampires of popular culture. Now those lurching corpses are threatening to overrun us in a new and ever-more shocking way - as the subjects of highbrow poetry, high art and serious literature.

There is a gut-wrenching moment in Colson Whitehead's latest novel, Zone One, when the young protagonist Mark Spitz arrives home from a casino trip to find his parents in deeply shocking circumstances. The New York neighbourhood in which they live has been suddenly overrun. Not by the homeless, street gangs or terrorists, but by an inexplicable plague of resurrected dead people craving to eat living flesh. Spitz runs for his life - as he does for most of this novel, richly praised by critics as a work of art that's "strangely tender" and "cynically acute".

A zombie novel as high art? It scarcely seems plausible the sort of people who might lap up W. G. Sebald, Mad Men or art-house cinema should find themselves moved and intellectually captivated by a tale featuring lurching corpses with scant brain function and a vocab limited to grunts and moans. Yet, here it is.

Zombies - whose infection is spread by their bite - are in plague proportions at the moment. As Sookie (Anna Paquin) was told at the end of season four of HBO's witty TV series True Blood: "Zombies are the new vampires - didn't you know?" She didn't - and obviously hadn't read the edition of Time trumpeting that same observation more than three years ago.

The virus has mutated since then, though. What is destabilising about Zone One, for example, is not the fact of corpses being reanimated in the Big Apple's boroughs but that the novel is transgressive and genre-busting. Whitehead, after all, is an established, well-respected "literary" novelist, for whom artful prose, nuanced characterisation and metaphysics take precedence over plot (and gore) - and whose publishers subtitled Zone One "a zombie novel with brains".

Ditto AMC's pay TV hit The Walking Dead; based on Robert Kirkman's long-running graphic novel series, it has been hugely popular as well as genre-bending. Intelligently scripted with emotional depth and complex characters, it has revolutionised what discerning viewers are willing to watch and finds itself spoken about glowingly by the sort of folk who otherwise have devoted themselves to such shows as Breaking Bad, The Wire or The West Wing.

So when The New York Times recently devoted an entire feature to exploring highbrow zombie poetry, who could be surprised? It focused on an anthology of 50 zombie poets (Aim for the Head), which it says is the first bid, in printed form, for serious attention in a genre that "has struggled to rise above the gross-out, mass-murder sensibility of comic books and video games".

This is on top of Hollywood's coming offerings. World War Z, based on Max Brooks' novel and starring Brad Pitt, is believed to be the first of a trilogy, to be released next year. It is a documentary-style tale of the world's collapse after a living-dead outbreak begins in China. Then there's Warm Bodies, due at the same time, which is set to stretch an already wafer-thin plausibility with the story of an "unusual" and weirdly handsome zombie (Nicholas Hoult) that saves a girl from being eaten by the hordes. Yes, it's a zombie romance.

Surprisingly, what is interesting about contemporary zombieland (Warm Bodies aside) isn't usually the zombies. Unlike their suave, sexy and fast-moving fanged cousins the vampires, these mindless, stumbling undead haven't the wit or appeal to be the stars (to verify, check out the zombie lexicon on the Urban Dead Wiki). Instead, they act as a mere plot mechanism to bring into sharper focus the dilemmas and characters of the surviving humans around them - of the horrors and depravities people might perpetrate.

Through the undead we find out about being alive. Or, as William S. Larkin writes in the book Zombies, Vam-pires, and Philosophy: New Life for the Undead, zombies raise the central philosophical question of human identity: what is it to be a person?

Zombies have been an American staple since George A. Romero's film Night of the Living Dead came out in 1968. But now, beyond the parody of Seth Grahame-Smith's hit novel Pride and Prejudice and Zom-bies (2009) or the riotous film Shaun of the Dead (2004), a rich zombie repertoire has emerged with bigger, deeper themes than the vampire glut could offer. While vampires tend to be associated with sexuality, especially in True Blood and the Twilight books/movies, the zombie genre explores our anxieties about death, fears of apocalypse, contagion and the tenuousness of existence. From critiquing consumer culture - zombies as mall shoppers, perhaps - to plumbing the depths of war, disease, politics and social satire, the zombie palette is becoming increasingly broad.

Zombies go back a long way in human history, being most commonly associated with African and Haitian voodoo traditions in which dead people are revived by sorcerers or shamans. Religions, too, grapple with life after death, usually with a more romantic promise of paradise, the rising of the dead on Judgment Day or, in the case of Christianity, with belief in a saviour (Jesus Christ) who is resurrected from death.

The reanimated creatures imagined by Romero for his horror films, by contrast, were always intended as metaphors. He has made six Living Dead films so far, the most recent in 2010, and they have all been associated with social commentary on topics as various as racism, consumerism, class and military power.

Fascinatingly, US academic Kyle Bishop draws connections between the "zombie renaissance" we are experiencing and the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Bishop, whose book American Zombie Gothic: The Rise and Fall (and Rise) of the Walking Dead in Popu-lar Culture was published two years ago, says there has been a steady rise in the number of zombie films since 2002 and that a post-September 11 audience cannot help but view these fictions through the filter of terrorist threats and apocalyptic reality.

Writing in the Journal of Popular Film and Television, he says that even though the zombie genre is 40 years old, the concept of zombie-contagion now resonates more strongly with contemporary audiences for whom September 11, the Iraq war and natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina provide comparably shocking ideas and imagery.

Death and inhumane acts, in all these real-life scenarios - as with a fictional zombie plague - were broadcast into our homes, shattering that code of silence about death's sudden inevitability in which we all collude. This deep connectiveness is perhaps why the 21st-century zombie has such a wide reach, appearing not only in cinema, poetry, literature, games and television, but in global phenomena such as the plethora of annual ''zombie shuffles'' - carnivalesque pageants of DIY cottage-industry zombies who stumble through city centres with all the commitment and seriousness of protesters (but with an enormous sense of fun, especially at the pre-shuffle make-up classes).

There are also zombie apocalypse preparation groups (some of them fully expecting an outbreak sometime soon) as well as more irreverent cohorts - the Australian Zombie Awareness Association says in its mission statement that ''Australians are often neglected in apocalyptic discussion ... recent plagues such as swine flu, reality TV and Justin Bieber only go to prove that Australia is just as at risk as any other continent''. Or there's Humans vs Zombies Victoria Inc, which is dedicated to physical activity for young people, usually in the form of foam-ball blaster matches (no biting, please).

Astonishingly, even the US's Centres for Disease Control and Prevention last year issued a teaching aid in the form of a graphic novella and ''preparedness 101'' kit showing how to deal with a zombie pandemic - or ''zompocalypse'', as it's known in the trade - with the aim of educating people about the very real potential threats and prudent responses associated with outbreaks of fast-spreading diseases (think Ebola or bird flu), such as that depicted in Steven Soderbergh's thriller Contagion (2011).

An associate professor for the school of culture and communication at the University of Melbourne, Angela Ndalianis, also a long-standing horror aficionado whose tastes cover the spectrum, has just written Horror Sensorium: Media and the Senses, which she discusses with as much enthusiasm and delight as she has for her participation in last year's zombie shuffle from the Carlton Gardens to Federation Square. She's watched almost everything with zombies in it, plays computer games featuring the undead (''I love them!'') and reads widely on the topic. And she looks fabulous in the photos of herself gored up to become one of the horde in the zombie shuffle (this year's is set for October 27).

Ndalianis, whose zombie-lore knowledge is encyclopaedic, contests the idea that horror is only about being plunged into a state of fear and repulsion for the hell of it. In watching horror, she says we actually experience some sort of pleasure - especially in the tension between wanting to look and not wanting to look, at the heart of which is a sense of disgust, especially with the cannibalism perpetrated by zombies (or even in non-zombie fiction such as Cormac McCarthy's The Road or Jonathan auf der Heide's 2009 film Van Diemen's Land).

''That disgust is at the root of the zombie genre,'' she says. ''People tend to be put off by the gore, but I think it is one of the most intelligent genres in terms of the filmmakers it attracts and the kinds of writing it attracts, even from as early as the 1960s. The human dynamics explain the inexplicable - there's always something rotten at the core.''

In her book, Ndalianis says the apocalyptic horror film, through the infection of the monstrous, confronts us with our worst fears about the collapse of identity, social systems and order. But, beyond appealing to the intellect, they incite ''the whole sensorium'', she says - contemporary TV and cinema's unrelenting and increasingly graphic depictions of violence and bodily destruction ''weaves its way offscreen and on to the body of the spectator''.

''All of these films,'' she says, ''play on the idea of the close-up, the camera that gazes at the body which is rotting, the flesh falling apart, the gums that are decomposed. It fetishises what happens to the body once death has hit home. The whole idea of the dead coming back is a metaphor: we have to embrace death.''

Little wonder Ndalianis writes in her book that one of Romero's reasons for using the term ''living dead'' for zombies was to draw on parallels between the dead who are ''living'' and the living who are ''living as if they're dead - empty, repetitive, unfulfilling lives that lack depth and emotion''.

As historian Marina Warner observes in Phantasmagoria (2006), the term zombie is now used generically as an existential term for ''the uttermost condition of cancelled selfhood'', where ''the zombie figures as a most acute, symptomatic and pervasive symbol of the living death inflicted by humans on one another''.

The hordes who have been watching The Walking Dead or reading Zone One will no doubt attest to tears or a wrenching of the heart at the unrelenting grief this genre is capable of exploring. Ironically, perhaps we are enlivened and able to treasure every breath more consciously when confronted with that cruel truth: life is fragile and it usually ends without warning.

- The Age

Cowell: I'm sorry for revelations

Simon Cowell says he wants to "publicly apologise" to people left red-faced following the sordid revelations in his unauthorised biography.

The X Factor mogul attended the launch of the book, Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell, at London's Serpentine Gallery and admitted that he hid under his "pillow" during the serialisation in Britain's The Sun newspaper.

The tome reveals details of his alleged fling with Dannii Minogue and his desire to sleep with Cheryl Cole among other kiss-and-tell tales.

"I wish to publicly apologise to anyone I embarrassed," he said contritely. "I have tried to keep my private life quiet a bit and I do have to apologise to certain people and certain members of my family. That's the score.

"Ten years ago if I had read someone would be writing a book about me saying I made loads of money and shagged loads of girls I would have said, 'Great!'

"I spent the week hiding under a pillow and I couldn't bear to look at The Sun.

I knew it was bad because friends were sending me sweet messages saying, 'Are you OK?' "

- Cover Media

Decker 'named after a horse'

Brooklyn Decker has revealed she was "named after a horse".

The actress explained that her parents didn't find inspiration for her name in a baby book, but somewhat closer to home.

She said it was her father who had the idea to call her by a more formal version of a family friend's steed.

"I'm named after a horse. My mum's best friend had a horse named Brooke, so my dad suggested 'Brooklyn' as a more formal version, and it just stuck - and now I live in Brooklyn part-time, so go figure," she told Vanity Fair.

Brooklyn is currently promoting her new movie What to Expect When You're Expecting.

Married to tennis ace Andy Roddick, the 25-year-old spoke about her own plans for motherhood.

While the former cover star has turned her back on modelling for now, she wants to juggle a career in movies with raising children.

"I think that I'd like to try to be a superwoman and have kids and work, so we'll see if I can actually accomplish that. But, if we're talking dream scenario, that would probably be it," she said.

- Cover Media

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Madonna exposes herself

Madonna

EXPOSE YOURSELF: Madonna has flashed the audience during a concert in Istanbul.

Madonna may be 53-years old but that doesn't stop her from sexing it up like it was 1995. During a concert in Istanbul the singer bared her right breast to the crowd of 55,000 people.

The superstar was performing a rendition of her 1995 hit, Human Nature, when her dance routine turned into a strip tease.

Caught in the moment of the provocative lyrics the Queen of Pop undressed herself to the pleasure of her fans.

The audience cheered as she began taking off her shirt and undoing her pants, and eventually pulled down her bra and flashed the crowd one of her nipples.

Shortly after she zipped her trouser back up and began singing Like A Virgin.

The latest striptease stunt follows a Tel Aviv concert where she showed an image of a swastika on a picture of French National Front leader Marine Le Pen.

The singer is in the middle of her world tour, promoting her new album, MDNA.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Paul Holmes off life support

Broadcaster Paul Holmes is awake and off life support today following several days in an induced coma.

The 62-year-old was put into a coma at Auckland City Hospital last week to allow his body to recover following open-heart surgery on Wednesday.  

His wife Deborah Hamilton-Holmes said in a statement today that Holmes was stable, "progressing well" and was sitting up in bed and speaking with family.

He is expected to leave intensive care today.

"The family are obviously relieved and would like to thank everyone once again for their encouragement and support since the operation.

"They request some privacy over the next few days as Paul continues his recovery."

Over the weekend Holmes' daughter Millie Elder and wife said the Q+A host was strong and would pull through.

His family had been reading him the many letters and emails from the public.

Doctors have said there were no complications during the surgery to remove a blockage to his heart, and that he would spend several days in hospital before recovering at home.

Holmes was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, usually inherited, which results in the heart muscle thickening, making the heart work harder to pump blood.

In 1999 he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. In January he had surgery related to the cancer, telling a women's magazine it was to "correct some old stuff" after his earlier treatment and radiotherapy, "which tends to churn things up inside".

Holmes was flown from Hawke's Bay to Auckland two weeks ago after a Hastings cardiologist confirmed the condition.  

- © Fairfax NZ News

Taite Music Prize: UMO

The winner of the third Taite Music Prize will be annouced tomorrow. Today is the last chance to get to know the seven finalists.

In today's video Ruban Nielson, from Unknown Mortal Orchestra talks about his self-titled debut album.

It is the first solo album of the ex-Mint Chicks guitarist. UMO was recorded in his new home in Portland, Oregon and made a big splash after some music blogs hyped his first single Ffunny Ffrends

In its inaugural year in 2010 the Taite Music Prize was won by Lawrence Arabia for his album Chant Darling and Ladi 6 was awarded the prize for The Liberation Of... last year.

The winner will be announced this tomorrow.

All Nominees:

Andrew Keoghan - Arctic Tales Divide (Brave Beluga Records)

Beastwars - Beastwars (Destroy Records)

David Dallas - The Rose Tint (Dirty Records)

She's So Rad - In Circles (Round Trip Mars)

The Bats - Free All Monsters (Flying Nun Records)

Tiny Ruins - Some Were Meant For The Sea (Spunk Records)

Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Unknown Mortal Orchestra (Seeing Records)

- © Fairfax NZ News

Video oops names Apprentice winner

An Australian TV employee might be in the firing line today after accidentally posting a video online announcing the winner of  Channel Nine's Celebrity Apprentice before it was due to air tonight.

The final, featuring contestants, Ian "Dicko" Dickson and model Nathan Jolliffe, battling it out for the crown of the reality show hosted by Mark Bouris, is due to air at 8pm (10pm NZT).

But in an embarrassing blunder, a video was posted on ninemsn last night of the show's final scenes and the grand unveiling of the winner.

The Age has chosen not to name the winner but the video - entitled Celebrity Apprentice: [name removed] wins - was still available for viewing this morning.

A Channel Nine spokeswoman acknowledged the mix-up.

"It is unfortunate," she said.

"Only 100 people viewed the video overnight. It was taken down at 8am and Mr Bouris will be firing someone at ninemsn!"

It's a situation Jolliffe, who won The Amazing Race Australia last year with friend Tyler Atkins, should be familiar with.

That final was spoiled when Jolliffe's friend Lara Bingle let it slip during a radio interview who triumphed.

- The Age

Ashton Kutcher 'returning to Men'

Ashton Kutcher will reportedly be returning for his second season of Two And A Half Men.

The actor took over from Charlie Sheen last year and although there was an initial skyrocket in the ratings up to 27.7 million viewers, it then subsided to still respectable numbers.

But Deadline claims that Ashton and his co-stars Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones will come back for what will be the show's tenth season.

Jones' and Cryer's contracts were up at the end of this past season and they are apparently very close to signing new one-year deals.

All three will reportedly return on their current salaries but will receive signing bonuses.

Kutcher is said to be earning around US$700,000 (NZ$ 858,788) an episode, Jon a bit less than that, and Jones taking home $300,000 per show. The youngest cast member received a $500,000 signing bonus at his last contract negotiation.

The show's creator Chuck Lorre, who had the infamous falling out with Sheen, has hinted that he may end the show after ten seasons but no final decision has been made.

Did you like Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men?

- Cover Media


Mila insists Ashton just a friend

Mila Kunis has called reports that she is dating Ashton Kutcher "absurd".

The Hollywood stars have sparked speculation they are romantically involved after being photographed together on several occasions. Mila has addressed the claims, insisting they are just friends.

"It's very absurd!" Mila told Ben Lyons of TV show Extra.

"I've never commented on my personal life, I'm not going to start commenting on my personal life now."

The Black Swan star and Ashton have known each other since they appeared on TV series That '70s Show between 1998 and 2006. Reports have suggested Ashton has held a flame for Mila since they starred together on the series. However Mila has hit back at the rumours.

"It's a friend. A friend is a friend," she said.

Mila and Ashton recently attended a reunion for the show. Mila also went to the event with stars Wilmer Valderrama and Laura Prepon.

"It was Laura, myself, Wilmer, and Kutcher," she said. "We just sat in a room for 20 minutes and talked about what it was like to film the show."

Mila, 28, and Ashton, 34, were spotted last weekend on a three-day getaway to Carpinteria, California.

- Cover Media

Nelson artist Jane Evans dies

Noted Nelson artist Jane Evans has died at age 65.

Evans died peacefully at her Nelson home last night, a family spokesperson confirmed this morning.

Evans was an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit, a patron of the Nelson Arts Festival since its inception in 1995, and an honorary life member of the Adam Chamber Music Festival.

She was also an honorary life member of the Nelson Suter Art Society and was the resident judge for the first five years of the World of WearableArt Awards in Nelson.

Evans had battled lupus, a chronic and debilitating health condition, for much of her life.

Biographer John Coley recounted in his 1997 book that Evans kept her condition from the public for many years and refused to let it interfere with her passion for painting and her enjoyment of a full and richly experienced life.

She attended Ilam in Christchurch and the Waltham Forest School of Art in London, and worked as a fulltime painter after completing her studies, exhibiting nationally and internationally.

Evans described her paintings as ''celebrations, expressions of delight in my immediate environment and the people and events that touch my life''.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Lenny Henry changes his tune

lenny henry

Lenny Henry's show Cradle to Rave is an homage to the British comedian's love of music.

I love New Zealand," Lenny Henry is saying enthusiastically, seconds into our interview. "People there seem to get what I'm on about, which is great.

"When I go to America, sometimes they don't understand at all. When I go to America, there seems to be a bigger chasm. We are cultures linked by a vaguely similar language, but New Zealanders seem to get me, which is brilliant - it means I can play."

So begin 20 precious minutes with the British comedy great, 20 meticulously organised minutes that swing from talk of Stevie Wonder to Shakespeare and back again, and in which I barely have to ask a single question.

It's unsurprising that Henry, a seasoned performer with more than four decades of solid work behind him - including co-hosting this week's Queen's Diamond Jubilee Concert - should have his spiel down pat.

Still, it doesn't feel like that until I'm off the phone, and have to sit there for a few minutes wondering what just happened and resisting the urge to call my mum, who was addicted to Chef! in the mid- 90s and is dying to know what the real-life Henry is like.

Born in the West Midlands in 1958, Henry's well-documented first break came on the 1970s equivalent of X-Factor. He won talent show New Faces for his impersonation of Stevie Wonder, and followed it up with what he describes in hindsight as ill-advised comedy work, including travelling the country as part of the cringingly named The Black and White Minstrel Show.

He struck his real vein of comedy gold in the 80s, though, when he met and married Dawn French - they went through a very public divorce in 2010 - on the alternative comedy circuit.

This led to a plethora of projects, including the role of chef Gareth Blackstock in the popular Chef! TV series.

For the record, the former comedy duo separated on good terms, but she's not what he wants to talk about today.

What he's talking about now, in his slightly amused-sounding Brummie accent, are his pocketed dreams - the fact that all he has ever really wanted to do was sing. That's exactly what he will be doing when he comes to New Zealand for shows in Wellington and Auckland this month.

Lenny Henry: Cradle to Rave is a homage to his love of music, the career he never had. The show touches upon his love of imitating Marvin Gaye, the difficulties of juggling dreams with marriage, although he never explicitly mentions French, and how his own musical dreams were crushed by record producer legend Trevor Horn.

"I nearly had a musical career in the 80s, because people said I had a slightly good voice," Henry reflects.

"But then he [Horn] said to me: 'You've got a halfway decent voice, but are you going to do this for real or are you going to piss around about it?' I just thought, 'Well, comedy's paid for my mum's house', so I decided to say no."

Impersonating singers was what threw him into the limelight at a young age, with Stevie Wonder and Elvis among his star turns.

"I loved Elvis. We had pictures of him all over the house. I used to watch his films and count how many times he kissed a girl," Henry laughs.

He wrote Cradle to Rave after finding audiences over the years reacted well to his musical anecdotes. Although he is a long way from being able to play the piano like Wonder, he is trying to fit in at least two hours' practise a day and performs all his own songs in the show.

After beaming into people's living rooms in Chef, Henry took on The Lenny Henry Show and the rest should have been history. By now an established comedian, Henry could have continued to entertain punters with his tongue-in-cheek impersonations and sardonic wit and have them chortling happily into their pints for the rest of their lives.

Instead, he decided to act, with a role or two in a series at first, a made-for-television movie. He was selling butter here in TV ads in the early 2000s  remember that?  while continuing to do voiceover work and the odd comedy gig. Then, in 2009, he got serious and did Shakespeare.

The reviews in the British press after Henry's Othello debut had an almost incredulous air, but were unanimous in their praise. "Rather than a theatrical car crash, Othello with Lenny Henry at the West Yorkshire Playhouse is a triumph," The Telegraph wrote.

But Henry, who is also studying towards his PhD in playwrighting, plays down the plaudits, saying comedic timing is all about acting.

"Before you give a punch line, there's always a bit where you've got to keep a straight face. That's acting, and keeping people interested is acting too.

"I love being on stage, so it's not a hang of a lot different really. I was so chuffed and honoured to be involved in it  it was one of the best creative experiences of my life."

As for his next move, he has written a couple of scripts and had an autobiographical film commissioned, which he will be working on in the next little while.

Otherwise, it's anyone's guess in what guise Henry might turn up next.

"I want to do more acting, more writing, more plays. I want to be in movies, so if anyone's got any work, just give me a ring," he signs off, the phone line abruptly silent.

Henry - Cradle To Rave is on at the Michael Fowler Centre on Wednesday, June 27, at 8pm.

- © Fairfax NZ News