Saturday, May 19, 2012

Metaphor concert aims for a record

Jack White earned his musical stripes with his chart-topping debut solo album 'Blunderbuss' and now the singer is attempting to add another accolade to his shelf - a Guinness World Record for most metaphors in a single concert.

The eccentric former White Stripes frontman, who also has put 'Blunderbuss' forward for the fastest named album in history, did not explain why he is attempting this feat of speech, but his record company is concerned about failure.

The attempt "may prove very exhausting and at times even dangerous, but the results could prove to be glorious and possibly even vainglorious," the company said in a statement.

The statement didn't reveal the exact details of how White was attempting to break the record, but did warn audiences going to his upcoming concerts to not "interfere or interject" any metaphors to avoid disqualifying the rocker.

This is not the first time White has made an attempt to get into the Guinness World Records.

The singer recently revealed to astronaut Buzz Aldrin in the May issue of Interview Magazine that he and former White Stripes bandmate Meg White tried to score the record for the shortest concert in history after performing just one note - a cymbal clash - at a performance in Canada.

Unfortunately for the White Stripes, Guinness World Records rejected their attempt for the accolade.

"The Guinness book is a very elitist organisation. There's nothing scientific about what they do. They just have an office full of people who decide what is a record and what isn't," White said to Aldrin.

His current attempts will take place throughout his world tour which runs until August and has stops throughout America, Europe, Asia and Australia.

- Reuters

Barrymore throws engagement bash

Drew Barrymore's engagement party featured a drag queen DJ.

The actress and her fiancé Will Kopelman celebrated their impending nuptials with a bash in New York City last Friday. They invited 300 people to join them, holding the event at the luxurious venue the Press Lounge.

Although it was an upmarket affair, Barrymore and Kopelman wanted their friends - who included Cameron Diaz - to have fun too. They hired a drag queen to spin tunes, much to guests' delight.

"Drag queen DJ Lady Bunny spun '80s music on an outdoor patio, spies said, and was 'all decked out with a short dress, high heels and tall blond wig,'" reports New York Post.

Small candles were strategically placed around the venue to give some mood lighting, while more decoration came in the form of a giant green flower arrangement.

Those in attendance were treated to wine from Barrymore's new line - Barrymore 2011 Pinot Grigio was sipped by guests.

Food included mini fillet of beef, wild salmon and cheese and tomato crostini, with guests filing out of the party at around 11.30pm.

Barrymore and Kopelman are believed to be expecting their first child, although they haven't confirmed the rumours. The 37-year-old actress' growing baby bump was apparent in the navy blue and white stripped maxi dress she wore to the party.

The couple are thought to be preparing to tie the knot on June 2 at Barrymore's home in Montecito, California.

"She wants it to be very personal and intimate," a source has said. "She wants to do it right and be surrounded by family and friends."

How did you celebrate your engagement?

- Cover Media

No one does it like Diddy

P. Diddy has arranged for 50 of his friends to fly to the Cannes Film Festival.

Hip-hop star Diddy has moved into film recently and enjoys attending the prestigious occasion.

He's known for bringing along an entourage, although it's never been quite as big as this year's.

"Diddy has been a regular at Cannes over the years and is always welcome," a source told British newspaper The Sun.

"However, this year he's arrived with more people than normal, which has proved a bit of a headache to the people in charge of the guest lists."

Diddy is well known for splashing the cash when he is at the event.

That is said to be part of the reason why festival bosses are determined to get the group into all the major parties.

"Diddy is good value, though, and his bar bill always makes an interesting read," the insider added.

Many of Hollywood's elite are in the South of France for the 65th annual festival, among them Robert Pattinson and his girlfriend Kristen Stewart.

They are understood to have forgone an upmarket hotel in favour of renting a villa away from the hustle and bustle of the event.

Among the stars to attend the Moonrise Kingdom premiere yesterday were Eva Longoria and Diane Kruger, who both wowed with their lavish dresses.

Eva's gown was pale pink and covered in crystals and beading. The huge tail was made of feathers, with Diane's mint green ensemble also boasting a long train.

Also on the red carpet were Freida Pinto, Tilda Swinton, Jessica Chastain, Eva Herzigova and Alec Baldwin and his fiancee Hilaria Thomas - who Alec carried up stairs to ensure she didn't slip.

- Cover Media

Hot retiree action for film

NICOLA RUSSELL
Nellie Van Gisbergen, 82, Cotterill, 84, Arthur Vivian, 83, and Judith Sherborne 54, with Kelly Rice.

ACTION: Nellie Van Gisbergen, 82, Cotterill, 84, Arthur Vivian, 83, and Judith Sherborne 54, with Kelly Rice.

They are not your typical film stars but the residents of the Mt Eden Gardens Retirement Village may just steal the show.

The Auckland group, whose ages range from 57 to 87 and includes Jude Sherborne, who is blind, are actors in a short film being made by event co-ordinator Kelly Rice for the 48-hour Furious Filmmaking event.

From 7pm on Friday night until 7pm tonight, hundred of teams throughout New Zealand are racing time to write, direct, edit and submit a short film.

Rice is delighted her team of actors wanted to take part. "I was super stoked ... this is something their grandchildren, nephews and nieces will be able to go `far out, look'."

Rice's team – "Only the Bad Die Old" – jumped at the chance to be involved.

"This is new to me. I have never been in a film before but you are only young once, aren't you." said Arthur Vivian, 83.

Rice: "Deep down, no matter what age, we all want to be singers and actors."

Film-makers are allocated genres to work in and Rice, who is the sole writer, director, camera operator and editor for the project, was handed the action genre on Friday night.

Pixie Kennedy was the most at home with that style of film: "I'm a little different than the rest."

Rice: "She likes action adventure, anything with hunky men and guns."

"I don't know about the men. That sounds exhausting," said Kennedy, who turned 87 last month.

Janet Irwin, 82, may have preferred a romantic tragedy. Her favourite film of all time is Anthony and Cleopatra. "My son sent me the video of it from England in black and white. It's absolutely stunning."

The first film Shirley Cotterill ever went to was a screening of Gone with the Wind at St James Cinema in Queen St, Auckland. "We had to go over two nights because it was so long."

Sherborne has ideas of her own: "It'll be a laugh a minute. Will it be anything like Fawlty Towers?"

"Anything is possible, Jude, with you in it," said Rice. "There will be a lot of gags, because these people are naturally funny."

www.v48hours.co.nz/2012 

- © Fairfax NZ News

'The Dictator' frolicks in Cannes

Dictator
REUTERS/Jean-Paul Pelissier

After enjoying a yacht ride with Elisabetta Canalis, Sacha Baron Cohen embraced the hump of a camel - only to be roughly dismounted.

Sacha Baron Cohen has made a dramatic entrance to the Cannes Film Festival with his latest stunt involving George Clooney's ex-girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis.

Staying in character as Admiral General Aladeen from his new film 'The Dictator', the actor frolicked with the 33-year-old Italian model, who was wearing a hot pink bikini while on board a yacht.

The pair were seen laughing together and enjoying several glasses of champagne on the top deck of the luxurious vessel.

Things got flirty, with Cohen treating the gorgeous star to a seductive massage and pouring champagne over her scantily-clad body.

After the playful antics, Cohen was seen dragging Elisabetta along the deck by her feet, before one of Aladeen's armed advisors made an appearance with a black body bag and threw the contents into the sea.

Cohen was also spotted enjoying a camel ride outside a row of high-end stores, much to the confusion of onlookers.

The animal featured a Wadiya 1 license plate - in reference to the country Aladeen rules. All went well until he tried to dismount the camel, whereupon he stumbled.

Cohen's character is a man who doesn't understand democracy; and in the film this causes problems when he goes to America.

The Cannes Film Festival attracts the biggest Hollywood stars.

Eva Longoria, Freida Pinto, Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Jessica Chastain, Diane Kruger and Tilda Swinton have all been spotted arriving at the international film event.

- Cover Media

48 hour film-making frenzy

LAURA WESTBROOK

The 48 hour film competition may be in its 10th year but that doesn't make it any easier for entrants or organisers. Laura Westbrook reports.

Thousands of aspiring film-makers around New Zealand will be experiencing sleeplessness, creative exhaustion and the stress of a 48 hour deadline as the country's largest film competition gets underway.

The 48 hour film competition began at 7pm last night and the 755 nationwide teams will spent the weekend frantically writing, editing and filming an original short film in 48 hours.

The competition began in 2003 with 44 teams and has grown to include thousands of people from Auckland, Hamilton, Wellington, Christchurch and Dunedin. This year it celebrates its 10th anniversary.
 
Auckland-based competition founder Ant Timpson said it was great to get sneak peak of future filmmakers.

"I get a really good sneaky glimpse of possible rising talent in the industry which is what everyone really wants to know who's going to be the next Taika Waititi, the next Peter Jackson so the 48 has became the single place where you can actually see potential people popping out."

Each film is given one of 12 genres and every year there are particular components that must be included. In previous years there have been specific characters, props and lines of dialogue.

These were announced shortly before the competition officially began.
 
The teams must ensure their films are in before the deadline of 7pm on Sunday or face disqualification.
 
Anna Duckworth and Lisa Fothergill are competing for the second year. They reached the grand finals last year and hope to do one better this year.

"I'm confident but we're still a bit nervous because it's still a bit u npredictably depending on what genre you get and things like that. It's a 50-50 either way," said Fothergill.

In a unique twist Duckworth has flown in from New York to compete in the competition. She forwent being a production assistant on an Usher video to take part in the competition.

"I wanted to come back to New Zealand for a visit and though why not compete in the 48 hour film competition again," said Duckworth.
 
The completed films are screened in heats, with the best selected by judges for city finals. In another judging cut, the outstanding go to a grand final on June 30.

The Lord of the Rings director Sir Peter Jackson is the wildcard judge.
 
"Congratulations to every one of the thousands of kiwis who picked up a camera, wrote a script, crewed
a set or played a role in ten years of furious filmmaking," says Sir Peter.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Book-turned-film a cliched romcom

GRAEME TUCKETT
Ewen McGregor

BRIGHT SPOT: Ewen McGregor gives an exceptional performance in Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.

REVIEW: 'Cliche' doesn't even do the phrase justice anymore, but I'll repeat it anyway: good books seldom yield good movies. Popular books, bad books, extended short stories; all of these give themselves up to a decent writer and director like pipis at low tide. But a well-wrought, well put together novel of any real insight or penetration is almost impossible to bring accurately to the screen. You can follow the ''BBC does Dickens' route, and commit to 12 hours of telly, or you can take everything that made the novel unique and unforgettable, and render it into a generic gloop that could be smeared across any number of average movies.

And so, Salmon Fishing in The Yemen, unforgivably clunky and smart-arsed though the title may be, is a terrific wee read, full of ideas, gentle satire, and no small amount of intelligent comment on relations between Europe and the Middle East. But it turns up on screen as not much more than every other Brit romcom you've ever seen in your life, with only some beautiful settings and a better than average cast to commend it.

Not that Ewen McGregor and Emily Blunt's efforts are wasted; they are a couple a exceptional performers, delivering quite believable and very likeable performances even in the most contrived and sugar-laden of set-ups.

So will true-love conquer all? Will Ewen and Emily succeed in raising a population of fish in the middle of the desert? Will ''following your dream'' -  no matter how unlikely or downright delusional it may be - offered up to us by Hollywood as the only possible recipe for happiness? Will Kristin Scott Thomas not so much chew the scenery, as disembowel it and leave it dying on the road? You know the answer to all these questions already.

But it is a shame, again, to contemplate the career of Lasse Hallstrom  from the fabulous My Life as a Dog, and What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, via Chocolat and The Cider House Rules, to The Notebook, and now this. And even more of a shame to see another good book put through the studio blender, with a gallon of corn syrup, served up tepid with all the good stuff strained out of it.

SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN (M) (107 min)
Directed by Lasse Hallstrom. Starring Ewen McGregor, Emily Blunt, Kristin Scott Thomas.

- © Fairfax NZ News

NZ On Air defends The GC

STACEY KIRK

In response to public backlash against their use of taxpayer money, NZ On Air have released the proposal for The GC, billing it as an "8 x half-hour observational documentary".

With a working title of "Golden Mozzies", the show was intended to spend three months looking at the "shining lights" of Maori success, in an "informative, yet entertaining and inspirational observational series".

About $420,000 of taxpayer money was spent on the reality show, which follows the lives of seven New Zealanders chasing fame, money and sex in the Gold Coast.

NZ On Air today decided to release the proposal for the show , saying it had the aim of showing "positive, confident Maori in prime time on a commercial channel".

The show drew more than 400,000 viewers in its first episode, but those figures plummeted in its second week when it only pulled in 289, 480 viewers.

Despite this, NZ on Air said The GC had continued to draw strong audiences but would assess the full results once the series had finished.

In the proposal it said while the series was mostly aspirational, it would also tackle the subjects' concerns about "how their life is perceived so negatively by those back home - commonly referred to as 'plastic' Maori, and apparently 'rolling in it'".

Among the proposal subjects was 32-year-old barber shop owner Carlos Bishop, and 29-year-old personal trainer and massage therapist William Gardner.

After just one year, Bishop's barber shop was so successful he was considering opening a franchise, and Gardner's story was to follow his struggle to juggle his massage therapy business with a personal need to further his education. Neither of those two are in the show.

A main character in the show, 23-year-old Tame Noema, was quoted in the proposal as being "all about the lifestyle".

"I moved to get amongst it because I'm all about the lifestyle… I gym it hard everyday… I go to the beach… I fit in here… they get me."

Of the seven young Maori highlighted in the proposal, Noema is the only one actually in the show.

The proposal said it was no coincidence that Maori were achieving success in the Gold Coast.

NZ On Air cited a 2006 global entrepreneurship monitoring report and said Maori represented 17.7 per cent of all entrepreneurial activity in New Zealand.

A Te Puni Kokiri study also quoted in the proposal returned figures that 29.9 per cent of New Zealand Maori thought their peers in the Gold Coast weren't committed to Maori culture.

The proposal said the "mozzies" shift to Australia was also part of the culture.

"Maori are a migratory people, having arrive from Hawaiki nearly eight centuries ago. In many respects, their moving to Australia could be seen as part of this migratory pattern."

- © Fairfax NZ News

Friday, May 18, 2012

Doco has grit, heart and soul

SIMON SWEETMAN

REVIEW: You should see this film. It's the best music documentary that will ever come out of New Zealand. It has grit and heart and soul -  and then there is the manipulation, the rewriting of history, the candidness that becomes a cover for what is tantamount to backstabbing. It's all here. Shihad is New Zealand's best live act. And the Wellington-born rock/metal band has been at it for nearly 25 years. That is reason for praise. Reason enough for this documentary.

There is not a lot of music to be seen -  or heard - as part of the film and though that might bug some fans, it should make the film all the more appealing as a general documentary; a feature film about the lives of four Kiwis. They just happen to be in a band. Add to the story the death of a manager, a name-change that felt like betrayal, a singer prepared to think about selling out, a drummer who won't let that happen on his watch, a guitarist who swaps alcohol for yoghurt so that the band can continue and a bass player who was the band's biggest fan (that's what got him the gig) and ends up being the most scathing about frontman Jon Toogood's botched joke-attempt on stage in America; the buzz-kill that contributed to Shihad-as-Pacifier's failure stateside.

All of this is beautifully framed with the families of the band members providing touching moments of sincerity.

And the musicians know their roles off-stage. Toogood (vocals) plays the poet-fool; Tom Larkin (drums) is the defacto-manager and driving force Karl Kippenberger (bass) is the fan-boy turned band-member, it went from being surreal to a little too real for him; Phil Knight (guitar) is the film's reluctant star, daunted, drained, hen-pecked even, but proudly still there to serve the music.

For all the attempts to swerve the narrative towards Toogood's lyrics, loved-up doggerel it doesn't have the prescience that he and the film's makers would have you believe. It's even when Jonny-Boy is happily hamming up a faux-troubadour gimmick, performing the songs to camera in solo acoustic renditions. It's Knight that burns into the soul. Staring out with an intense introversion from the front lawn with his partner who he is sure would never have given him the time of day if he was still drinking. It's Kippenberger helping his mum in the garden, still amazed he's part of the band he used to go and see. And it's Larkin at home with his partner and child, the band's goalkeeper, always aware of the score.

Three musicians that are somehow just right for each other and their frontman  the best in the country by some distance. And this is everything that has happened around keeping them together. Shihad: Beautiful Machine is about so much more than just the music. And just as well.

SHIHAD: BEAUTIFUL MACHINE (M) (103 mins)
Directed by Sam Peacocke

- © Fairfax NZ News

Review: Sarah Harpur

INDIA LOPEZ

REVIEW: Sarah Harpur - Pants are for Losers and Other Theories
Wellington, The Fringe Bar, May15

I struggled with how to approach this review. I'd love to say Sarah Harpur's solid content was let down by her delivery, or vice versa, but quite frankly I don't know which aspect was weaker.

Harpur's Pants are for Losers and Other Theories was an "academic" presentation, wherein the lab coat-clad comic presented a series of "theses" on Mathematics, Religion, Science, Art, Public Policy and so on, aided by a PowerPoint presentation.

It could have been a good gimmick, but Harpur's comedy was about as far from brainy as it gets.

As she made fun of sexual harassment, Christians, old people, food allergies and people with ginger hair, I found myself wishing my 12-year-old brother was in the audience.

The "PC gone mad" crowd might have got a few cheap laughs, but for the most part Harpur's dumbed-down humour was just plain patronising.

This was aggravated by her performance, which brought to mind a ditzy, over-enthusiastic kids' TV presenter. Dry it was not.

She overtold every joke, even inserting a little "Yeah!", "Wooh!" and a fist-pump here and there as if to convince the audience they were actually enjoying themselves.

After a while, I tried imagining the lines written down, in case the onstage awkwardness was masking their brilliance. And I think there was some potential there.

But until Harpur loses the forced delivery and starts treating her audience like adults, I suggest you save yourself a pretty painful hour.

Details

Sarah Harpur performs May 15 to 19 at the Fringe Bar, Wellington.

More information at www.comedyfestival.co.nz

- © Fairfax NZ News

Leading hobbit still single

Elijah Wood hasn't had any 'serious' marriage proposals - despite his 'pretty intense' fan encounters.

The actor has appeared in a number of Hollywood blockbusters including The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Sin City.

Wood is grateful for his fans' support, although admits they sometimes get over-zealous when they spot him at public events.

"I've had people fly to certain places that I happen to be and profess their love for me, in a pretty intense way," he told Collider.com.

"Serious ones? No. I've interacted with fans a lot 'cause I go to Comic-Con a lot," Wood said.

It just so happens that, the last couple of years, there's been something to promote at Comic-Con that fits that audience, so I've been there a fair amount.

"But, it's also a world that I'm familiar with. I'm a nerd as well and a fan."

Wood would love to enjoy Comic-Con unrecognised.

The 31-year-old star is considering ways in which to go unnoticed at the annual fan convention.

"See, I can't do that. That's the thing I can't do, which is a bummer," he said of not being recognised.

"It's weird, in my daily life, I can go anywhere without a problem. But, that's such a concentrated amalgam of those folks, that it's difficult - I did walk the floor the first time I went.

"We were there to promote [The Lord of the] Rings before it came out, and I did walk the floor and it was radical.

"But, after the first movie came out, it was pretty apparent that I couldn't do that again.

"And I've thought about getting a costume or a mask and walking around that way, but it's a little difficult. A bunch of people do that. I think Simon Pegg does that."

- Cover Media

Comedian admits role in fake pilot stunt

TV star and comedian Ben Boyce has admitted his part in a botched fake pilot stunt which earned him the wrath of the aviation industry and Prime Minister John Key.

The skit for the TV3 series WannaBen allegedly involved someone dressing in a pilot's uniform to get past security at Auckland Airport last September, during the Rugby World Cup and close to the September 11th terrorist attacks anniversary.

Boyce, The Rock host Bryce Casey, TV producer Andrew Robinson, Daniel Watkins, Craig O'Reilly and Gregory Clarke appeared at Manukau District Court today charged with providing false information in an attempt to gain access to a secure area.

At the sentence indication hearing all the accused changed their plea to guilty.

Clarke, O'Reilly and Watkins were discharged without conviction for their part in the failed comedy skit and fined $250 each.

Judge Gus Andree Wiltens said the trio played a smaller role in the stunt. They hadn't planned it, nor could they say no to those who had.

Judge Wiltens took into account their low level of offending and the effect a conviction would have on their careers.

What happened to the other three accused cannot yet be reported.

The case had originally been set down for a defended hearing but last week a decision was made to hold a sentence indication hearing.

The stunt was widely condemned by the aviation industry which said the men could find it difficult to travel internationally if convicted.

At one of their initial appearances one of the men's lawyers sought diversion, but police said that had been denied.

Prime Minister John Key said the stunt was "irresponsible from a bunch of clowns that should know better".

In a statement issued in September by TV3's owner MediaWorks, Boyce said he was "very sorry for all the trouble [the stunt] has caused".

"This was an attempt at humour which we fully accept was misplaced."

- © Fairfax NZ News

'Adorkable' laughs excellent

BRIDGET JONES

REVIEW: Rose Matafeo starts her show, Scout's Honour, with a reverse karaoke song.

She sings in Japanese, while the words on the screen are in English.

It's a cute joke that just gets funnier. And that's kind of the same as the 20-year-old herself.

See, the thing about Matafeo is that she's an Every Girl. 

You know, the funny girl who used to be in your maths class or who was your best friend's sister.

Despite being an award-nominated comedian (she's up for the Billy T Award this year) and a TV host, Matafeo is awkward and self-effacing. 

Her show is about highlighting all the things in the realm of adulthood that she sucks at, which only carries this further.

From her hard luck with boys to her terrible diet, Matafeo spends an hour poking fun at herself and it is, indeed, a giggle.

Sure, she is playing on the pop culture she so obviously loves, and you could be excused for thinking she has watched one too many episodes of the New Girl to get the 'adorkable' thing down, but there is something refreshing about the way Matafeo approaches her material. 

The room was howling with laughter as she read her list of Saddest Tweets from New Zealand Celebrities, and there is a line about a certain clothing store that was easily the truest thing said on a comedy stage this festival.

There's even a game of truth or dare, and the chance to take home some of her very best cat stickers if you're lucky enough. 

Yeah, Matafeo is the type of girl who makes badges for her audience and does it, not because she can, but because she thinks she should.  And I'm all for it.

ROSE MATAFEO'S SCOUT'S HONOUR 

WHEN: May 15 - 19

WHERE: The Basement, Lower Greys Avenue, Auckland

- © Fairfax NZ News

Indonesia stops Lady Gaga show

ALI KOTARUMALOS

Lady Gaga will have to cancel her sold-out show in Indonesia following protests by Islamic hard-liners and conservative lawmakers, who said her sexy clothes and dance moves will corrupt the youth.

National police spokesman Boy Rafli Amar, responding to the pressure, said on Tuesday that the permit for her June 3 Born This Way Ball concert had been denied.

Indonesia, a nation of 240 million people, has more Muslims than any other. Although it is secular and has a long history of religious tolerance, a small extremist fringe has become more vocal in recent years.

Hard-liners have loudly criticised Lady Gaga, saying the suggestive nature of her show threatened to undermine the country's moral fibre. Some threatened to use physical force to prevent her from stepping off the plane.

Lawmakers and religious leaders, too, have spoken out against her.

Worried they could not guarantee security, local police recommended the permit for the show be denied, said Amar, adding that national police decided Tuesday to comply.

It was supposed to be the biggest show on Lady Gaga's Asian tour, with fans snapping up every seat in Jakarta's 52,000-seat Gelora Bung Karno stadium - half of them in the first two hours of sales.

Permits usually are issued about three weeks before a concert in Jakarta, so it is common to sell tickets well ahead of receiving the permit. It was not immediately clear if the ticket sales would be refunded. The local promoter, Michael Rusli, could not be reached for comment.

"I'm very disappointed," said Mariska Renata, who had tickets to the Jakarta show.

She said by bowing to the wishes of "troublemakers," authorities only give them more power. "We are mature enough to be able to separate our own moral values from arts and culture," Renata said.

Lady Gaga's Asian tour started late last month and many of the stops have sold out. The South Korean concerts were limited to fans 18 or older because conservatives there raised objections.

- AP

MIB child quizzes Obama on aliens

Will Smith was left red-faced when his son asked US President Barack Obama about aliens during a visit to the White House.

The star of extraterrestrial franchise 'Men in Black' recalled during an interview on BBC Radio 1 how his family was enjoying a guided tour of the iconic building when Jaden interrupted to find out more about space activity.

The actor had specifically told his 13-year-old son not to touch upon the subject and tried to intervene, but Obama took it in good humour.

Speaking on the radio show Smith said: "The night before, Jaden had said to me, 'Dad, I gotta ask the president about the aliens,' and I'm like, 'Dude, no, it's not cool. Do not ask the president!' So we get into the situation room and Jaden gets this look in his eyes and he asks, 'What's my punishment?'".

"And Barack is starting [to talk] about this situation room and Jaden says, 'Excuse me Mr. President' and Barack said, 'Don't tell me.' And in perfect form - and this is why he is the president - he stopped and looked at Jaden and said, 'The aliens, right? Okay, I can neither confirm or deny the existence of extraterrestrials, but I can tell you if there had been a top secret meeting, and if there would have been a discussion about it, it would have taken place in this room.'"

On the radio show Smith also spoke about his family's hectic schedules.

With himself and his wife Jada being successful movie stars, and their two children Jaden and daughter Willow, 11, establishing entertainment careers for themselves, the Smith clan hasn't got time to think about holidays.

But the actor explained that each family member is having a "fantastic" time and they use the quiet winter period to be together.

"It's a beautiful time for us; we've got movies and music," Smith said.

"Jaden and I are actually working together and Willow's about to do Annie, the film version. Good times in the Smith family."

- Cover Media

Cowboy brings the horse hip-hop

CHARLEY MANN

Charley Mann talks to Rhymestone Cowboy Dan Urquhart about horse training and hip hop.

Two years ago, Dan Urquhart was living out of the back of his truck. Today, he takes horse hip-hop to Auckland.

Urquhart, a horse behavioural specialist, owns a successful business, Rhymestone Horses, in Yaldhurst and is recording an album with The Feelers.

For Urquhart, 26, who once had to sell his dogs to make ends meet, the swift business success was unexpected.

"About two years ago, I literally had nothing, so I put an advert in the paper for horse training just to get some diesel for my truck and work out my next chapter," he said.

"Over the summer, I could not control the numbers of bookings I was getting. I still haven't put a sign up at the property.

"After the earthquakes last year, it was one of my reasons for staying in Christchurch. I wanted to do this. I never wanted to give up."

His determination has seen his hip-hop career take off at a similar speed. As well as performing at concerts, rodeos and corporate events, he has recorded about 16 songs with The Feelers members Andy Lynch and Matt Short, and hopes to release his next album soon.

This week he will perform with Dizzy/Bro, his quarter-horse-thoroughbred cross, in Auckland bars, including Ponsonby Rd's Golden Dawn.

"My brother doesn't know it yet, but Dizzy will be staying on his driveway in Auckland."

Urquhart's brother is actor Gerald Urquhart, Shortland Street's Dr Luke Durville.

It was his brother's gift of a CD from Los Angeles group Jurassic 5 that opened the door to hip-hop that was not about gang culture, violence and drugs.

He performs with Dizzy, who walks into bars and sits on his horse mattress.

"I take immense pride in riding horses where fellow horsemen are not allowed, " he said.

"It's a privilege to ride into a corporate event or through the central city."

- © Fairfax NZ News

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Stars turn out for Shihad premiere

LAURA WESTBROOK

We hit the red carpet for Shihad's Beautiful Machine movie premiere.

It was a star-studded affair at the New Zealand premiere of the documentary about arguably New Zealand's most famous rock band.

Shihad: Beautiful Machine hits cinemas today, and many turned out at Wellington's Embassy cinema last night to meet the band and see the film about their 24-year career.

Among the guests were Bret McKenzie, The Hobbit's Andy Serkis and Hurricanes players Victor Vito and Conrad Smith.

"They're my favourite New Zealand band," said Smith.

"I went to see them live a few times and  they are great live performers. I'm excited to see the film."

The band arrived with award-winning director Sam Peacocke and all agreed it wasn't just for fans.

The documentary covers their highs and lows from being teenagers in Wellington to their disastrous name change and beyond.

"It's a very New Zealand documentary. We just happen to be the subjects," said lead singer Jon Toogood.

"It's just a movie about Kiwis."

It's been four years in the making and producer Grant Roa revealed that although he'd watched it 37 times already, he was excited to see it in a "full house".

"It's a film about four boys going on their OE together, who got together as teenagers and decided to travel the world and that was done through music."

Roa brushed aside claims of a behind the scenes spat between the producers and the director.

"You're always going to have some disagreements.

"Sam is exceptionally talented."

He said having conceived of the idea of the documentary he and the other producer, Laurence Alexander, had "boundaries we had put in place that we wanted to work within".

"Both Graeme [Tuckett] and Sam [Peacocke] nurtured that as much as they could. And like creatives, they tried to push the boundaries. That's what you do. That's the story. So as a producer you just tap it back into place now and again."

- © Fairfax NZ News


Big shake-up for The Wiggles

CHRISTINE SAMS
The Wiggles

THE WIGGLES: Anthony Field, Jeff Fatt, Murray Cook and Greg Page.

A 20-year-old back-up dancer for the Wiggles will become the group's first female member, as part of a major line-up change.

The band members - Anthony Field, Jeff Fatt, Murray Cook and Greg Page - have openly expressed their concerns about the rigours of touring in recent years.

Emma Watkins will be the new yellow Wiggle alongside two other performers - Lachlan Gillespie and Simon Pryce - who will replace Cook and Fatt.

The shock announcement about the retirement of three of the Wiggles comes only four months after the band controversially dumped its youngest member, Sam Moran.

Only the Blue Wiggle, Anthony Field, will remain.

Speculation about the band's line-up changes mounted  throughout the  morning, with the Wiggles finally releasing a statement about their "new generation" of performers.

A statement on their official website said the Wiggles would embark on a Celebration Tour at the end of the month with shows planned for Singapore, Britain, US, Canada and New Zealand. The group will head home for their final Australian tour in November and December.

"Jeff, Murray and Greg will then hand over the purple, red and yellow skivvies to a new generation of performers to instead take on backstage creative roles," the statement said.

"Anthony will continue on stage as the Blue Wiggle alongside Emma Watkins, Lachlan Gillespie, and Simon Pryce, who have been handpicked by the group to become the Yellow, Purple and Red Wiggles."

"We've been entertaining children around the world for 21 years and it's important that we plan for the future so that The Wiggles can keep wiggling in the years to come," Cook said.

"The touring and performing over the past 21 years has meant that we've spent a long time away from our own families and friends. We miss them and want to spend more time at home, which is a major reason why three of us decided it was time to hand on our skivvies to a new generation."

A spokesman for the Wiggles said: "They always said they'd have to hang up their boots at some point."

The oldest member of the band, Fatt, is 58.

Field, 49, has also revealed the effects of a serious battle with depression, which led to him suffering during touring, including sometimes "bawling my eyes out in the dressing room".

News of changes to the band does not mean the Wiggles empire - television shows, DVDs, music releases and children's merchandising - will not continue. The business is expected to carry on unabated.

The band, which celebrated 20 years in the children's industry last year, has been one of Australia's biggest entertainment success stories. All five members - including Page and Moran - were inducted into the ARIA Hall of Fame last year.

At the peak of their success, the Wiggles were named Australia's top earning entertainers for four years running, with earnings of up to $45 million per year.

Their fortune includes takings from continuous live touring here and overseas, with the four band members sometimes performing more than 500 shows a year.

- Sydney Morning Herald

Donna Summer, Queen of Disco, dies

MESFIN FEKADU

Disco queen Donna Summer, whose pulsing anthems such as Last Dance, Love to Love You Baby and Bad Girls became the soundtrack for a glittery age of sex, drugs, dance and flashy clothes, has died.

She was 63.

Her family released a statement saying Summer died Thursday morning (overnight, NZ time) and that they "are at peace celebrating her extraordinary life and her continued legacy."

The family did not disclose the cause of death. She had been living in Englewood, Florida, with her husband Bruce Sudano.

"Words truly can't express how much we appreciate your prayers and love for our family at this sensitive time," the statement said.

Summer came to prominence just as disco was burgeoning, and came to define the era with a string of No 1 hits and her luxurious hair and glossy, open lips.

Disco became as much defined by her sultry, sexual vocals — her bedroom moans and sighs — as the relentless, pulsing rhythms of the music itself.

Elton John said in a statement that Summer was more than the Queen of Disco.

"Her records sound as good today as they ever did. That she has never been inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame is a total disgrace especially when I see the second-rate talent that has been inducted," he said. "She is a great friend to me and to the Elton John Aids Foundation and I will miss her greatly."

Love to Love You Baby, with its erotic moans, was Summer's first hit and one of the most scandalous songs of the polyester-and-platform-heel era. The song was later sampled by LL Cool J, Timbaland and Beyonce, who interpolated the hit for her jam Naughty Girl.

Unlike some other stars of disco who faded as the music became less popular, Summer was able to grow beyond it and later segued to a pop-rock sound. She had one of her biggest hits in the 1980s with She Works Hard for the Money, which became another anthem, this time for women's rights.

Soon after, Summer became a born-again Christian and faced controversy when she was accused of making anti-gay comments in relation to the Aids epidemic. Summer denied making the comments, but was the target of a boycott.

Religion played an important role in her life in later years, said Michael Levine, who briefly worked as her publicist.

"She was very committed to God, spirituality and religion. Her passion in her life, besides music, was God, spirituality and religion. She held a bible study class at her home every week," he said.

Summer, real name LaDonna Adrian Gaines, was born in 1948 in Boston. She was raised on gospel music and became the soloist in her church choir by age 10.

"There was no question I would be a singer, I just always knew. I had credit in my neighbourhood, people would lend me money and tell me to pay it back when I got famous," Summer said in a 1989 interview.

Love to Love You Baby, released in 1975, was her US chart debut and the first of 19 No 1 dance hits between 1975 and 2008 — second only to Madonna.

The song was a breakthrough hit for Summer and for disco — a legend of studio ecstasy and the genre's ultimate sexual anthem.

Summer came up with the idea of the song and first recorded it as a demo in 1975, on the condition that another singer perform it commercially. But Casablanca Records president Neil Bogart liked the track so much that he suggested to producer Giorgio Morodor they re-record it, and make it longer — what would come to be known as a "disco disc."

Summer had reservations about the lyrics — Do it to me again and again — but imagined herself as a movie star playing a part. So she agreed to sing, lying down on the studio floor, in darkness, and letting her imagination take over. Solo and multitracked, she whispered, she groaned, she crooned. Drums, bass, strings and keyboards answered her cries. She simulated climax so many times that the BBC kept count: 23, in 17 minutes.

Through the rest of the disco era she burned up the charts: She was the only artist to have three consecutive double-LPs hit No. 1, Live and More, Bad Girls and On the Radio. She was also the first female artist with four No. 1 singles in a 13-month period, according to the Rock Hall of Fame, where she was a nominee this year but was passed over.

She was never comfortable with the Disco Queen label. Musically, she began to change in 1979 with Hot Stuff, which had a tough, rock 'n' roll beat. Her diverse sound helped her earn Grammy Awards in the dance, rock, R&B and inspirational categories.

Summer said she grew up on rock 'n' roll and later covered the Bruce Springsteen song Protection.

"I like the Moody Blues, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones as well as Aretha Franklin, Dionne Warwick, the Supremes and Temptations," she said. "I didn't know many white kids who didn't know the Supremes; I don't know many black kids who don't know the Moody Blues."

Warwick said in a statement that she was sad to lose a great performer and "dear friend."

"My heart goes out to her husband and her children," Warwick said. "Prayers will be said to keep them strong."

Musician Nile Rodgers tweeted: "For the last half hour or so I've been lying in my bed crying and stunned. Donna Summer RIP."

Summer released her last album, Crayons, in 2008. It was her first full studio album in 17 years. She also performed on American Idol that year with its top female contestants.

Even as disco went out of fashion, she remained a fixture in dance clubs, endlessly sampled and remixed. Her music has also been sampled by the Pussycat Dolls and rapper Nas.

In a sign of her continued relevance, the Broadway musical Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Musical, features two versions of Summer songs with Hot Stuff and MacArthur Park.

"It's a tragedy to lose an icon at such a young age," actor and singer Nick Adams, who plays Adam in the show, said in an email.

- AP

Pudsey set for worldwide fame

He's rumoured to be worth £10 million (NZ$20 million), insured for £1 million, with a book deal in the works and an offer to be the face of an advertising campaign.

He is a dog named Pudsey.

The six-year-old, whose ancestry includes border collie, Chinese crested powderpuff and bichon frise, and his owner, 17-year-old Ashleigh Butler won Britain's Got Talent on Saturday night, taking home £500,000.

» Watch Pudsey's audition

The pair performed an original routine on the reality show's finale, with Pudsey walking on his hind legs, rolling on command, twirling and leaping in the air to the Mission Impossible theme song.

The Daily Mail reported Pudsey had become something of a diva since his big win, expecting trips on private jets, being escorted by bodyguards and having a trademarked name.

They also estimated Pudsey's show business career could earn him millions.

But Butler hosed down some of the more outrageous claims about the canine's celebrity status during an interview on UK breakfast show Daybreak.

On Pudsey having three security guards: "That is not true."

On his name being trademarked by Simon Cowell's production company: "No".

On a book deal: "Maybe".

On being the face of a dog food commercial: "Nothing's been confirmed yet".

On getting security in her backyard: "I haven't been home yet, so not at the moment".
Pudsey has had far more luck than Uggie, the Jack Russell terrier who starred alongside Jean Dujardin in the Oscar-winning film The Artist.

Uggie, who won the top dog honour at the Golden Collars and reportedly wore £120,000 worth of diamonds to a pre-Oscars party, has been forced into retirement by a "mysterious shaking syndrome", The Daily Mail reported.

"It's very sad but he is suffering from a mystery shaking syndrome. It is a neurological disorder and we've spent thousands on vets' bills trying to figure out what is causing it but the experts don't really know," trainer Omar Von Muller said.

"He started shaking shortly before The Artist began filming in November 2010. It comes and goes and, ironically, it is worse when he's relaxed.

"When we were filming you could hardly notice it."

- Sydney Morning Herald

Comedy that's more than words

Review: The Boy With Tape On His Face

SUZIE HART
Boy With Tape On His Face
LAWRENCE SMITH/Fairfax NZ

MORE THAN WORDS: The Boy With Tape On His Face uses music to enhance his punchlines.

Getting two strangers to kiss passionately on a stage in front of hundreds of people - including their partners - is no easy task.

But The Boy With Tape On His Face is persuasive.

With his quirky facial expression and gestures, the comic urged the pair to perform a courtship skit and after two unacceptable attempts - a kiss on the cheek and an awkward peck - they gave in and went for the full smooch.

Only then were the audience allowed to applaud and the stars allowed off stage.

The award-winning comedian's show is dependent on his fans' participation, and we were warned beforehand to be good sports.

In a cheery, sing-song voice, the MC said: "Play along or you will look like a cock." 

He doesn't always pick the best candidates but the rubbish ones are booted off stage pretty swiftly.

Trying to be funny lady? You're out. Can't follow The Boy's silently simple instructions? You're off.

The Boy - real name Sam Willis - makes good use of well-known songs, timed for maximum comic effect.

The Star Wars tune blasts loud as he takes on an audience member in a light sabre fight using metal tape measures.

Lean On Me plays as four young men who have never met get up close and personal, coerced into a tight human pyramid.

My Endless Love is the soundtrack for a pair of lovers, performed by The Boy using cute kitchen gloves with eyes.

And I don't want to ruin the hilariously clever finale, but the whole audience is allowed to get involved and raucous for 99 Red Balloons.

THE BOY WITH TAPE ON HIS FACE - MORE TAPE

WHERE: Rangatira at Q, Queen St, Auckland

WHEN: Monday, May 14

Follow @AucklandNowNZ

- © Fairfax NZ News

Celeb attorney face-off possible

The masseur whose $2 million sexual battery lawsuit against Hollywood actor John Travolta was dismissed earlier this week has hired celebrity attorney Gloria Allred and could file a new claim.

Allred, whose numerous high-profile cases over the years have included representing women involved in the Tiger Woods sex scandal, said on Wednesday that she is now the attorney for 'John Doe No.1' and will be consulting with the masseur on his next steps in the case that has made headlines worldwide.

"Mr. Doe's lawsuit was dismissed without prejudice which means that he is still legally entitled to file a lawsuit against John Travolta if he chooses," Allred said in a statement.

"We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take."

Travolta faces a similar claim from another masseur.

Travolta's lawyer, Los Angeles-based Martin Singer, has vehemently denied the sexual battery claims against the 'Grease' actor and on Tuesday said his client had been vindicated by the dismissal of the first complaint.

His office had no immediate comment about Allred's hiring on Wednesday.

'John Doe No.1', a Texas resident, initially claimed in court papers filed earlier this month that Travolta groped him during a private massage in Beverly Hills in January.

But on Tuesday, his former attorney, Okorie Okorocha, filed a notice dismissing the lawsuit.

Okorocha said he had "limited his representation" of the plaintiff after the masseur got the date wrong of the alleged incident and contacted media outlets directly.

"I wanted to be the only one talking to the press... His case needed to be redone and it would take a lot of time to redo the whole thing," Okorocha said.

Okorocha plans to go ahead with the lawsuit against Travolta representing a second male masseur, `John Doe No.2'.

This claimant says Travolta sexually assaulted him during a massage session in an Atlanta hotel in late January.

Two other men have made similar claims to media outlets, but no legal filings have yet been made in those cases.

Travolta, 58, has been married to actress Kelly Preston since 1991.

He first gained fame on the television show 'Welcome Back, Kotter' and later enjoyed hit movies such as 'Saturday Night Fever' and 'Urban Cowboy' before going on to grittier roles in films such as 'Pulp Fiction' and 'Get Shorty'.

Allred represented the family of OJ Simpson's slain ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, during Simpson's trial and filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against actor David Boreanaz on behalf of a client who was an extra on Borneanaz's show 'Bones'.

She also represented a Chicago woman who alleged that former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain sexually harassed her.

- Reuters

Can Britney cop it?

JILL SERJEANT

Britney Spears hasn't even taken her seat as the new judge of 'The X Factor', but the pop icon is already getting a lesson in the media glare of live, talent show television.

Spears had barely wrapped up an appearance in New York confirming she is joining the singing contest before the celebrity knives were out, raising the question of how well the singer, who went through a public meltdown in 2007, can handle all the newfound attention.

Her dress, nails, shoes, legs and figure have all come in for scrutiny - most of it negative - in a taste of what may come when the show returns to TV in September for two nights a week over four months.

The New York Daily News ran photos of the 'Toxic' singer's "bloody picked fingernails".

It also showed a close-up of her thighs, commenting that she "appeared in a short white mini dress that showed off her famous pop star legs - and what looks to be a bit of cellulite".

Spears, famed for raunchy dance routines and music videos in her heyday, is now 30-years-old and a mother of two.

Outside her sell-out global concert tours, she has been largely shielded from the media since a career and personal breakdown in 2007 that resulted in her affairs being handed over to her father.

Mary Fischer at The Stir on website cafemom.com, said the singer was "a hot mess" in the cream dress she wore for her New York appearance on Monday before Fox TV network executives and advertisers.

"She might as well have just thrown on a nightgown or racy piece of lingerie," said Fischer.

"She would've achieved the same effect (showing off the fact that she's shed a bit of weight and gotten her groove back), but she wouldn't have looked like she was trying so hard."

She suggested Spears should take a tip from Prince William's wife and style icon Kate Middleton who "is the definition of being sexy without revealing too much skin".

Dazzling ring, lumpy legs

Celebrity magazine Us Weekly showed interest in Britney's three carat diamond engagement ring, estimated to be worth about $90,000, that boyfriend Jason Trawick slid on her finger in December.

But some readers weren't dazzled by the ring and focused on Spears' fashion.

Kathleen Tandy commented on the magazine's website that although Britney looked good in the second, purple dress she wore for photos on Monday "she looked like straight-up trailer trash" in the cream outfit.

Britain's Sun newspaper said "Britney looked better than she has in years," when she stepped out in New York.

But elsewhere in the tabloid, reporters said her cream mini-dress "hugged her lumpy legs; a pair of tight ankle-strapped heels cut off her pins even more".

Elsewhere, Spears' legs were seen as either toned, bruised, dimpled or fat in hundreds of fevered online debates, where the former pop princess was compared (mostly unfavorably) to the demurely-dressed Demi Lovato, 19, who is also joining 'The X Factor'.

- Reuters

J. Lo the world's most powerful celeb

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez' earnings and popularity in the last year rocketed her from 50th to first in the Forbes top 100 most powerful celebrities list.

Jennifer Lopez has topped the annual Forbes list of the 100 most powerful celebrities in the world.

She takes over from fellow pop singer Lady Gaga, and beats out media mogul Oprah Winfrey who placed second.

The 42-year-old singer, actress and dancer, who rose up through the entertainment world ranks from her humble birthplace of the Bronx, New York, surprisingly jumped from 50th place on last year's list.

The list measures power by entertainment related earnings, media visibility and social media popularity.

Forbes estimated Lopez' earnings in the past 12 months at NZ$67.8 million.

Her top ranking is powered by her lucrative gig as a judge on popular television show, 'American Idol', a new clothing line at Kohl's, a top-selling fragrance and millions of Twitter and Facebook followers.

She also just announced her first upcoming world tour, joined by Enrique Iglesias.

Winfrey, who has admitted struggling with her OWN TV network after ending 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' last year after 25 years, kept her number two slot from last year, earning an estimated NZ$215m.

Canadian pop star Justin Bieber, 18, also stayed at number three where he debuted last year, earning NZ$71.7m, with Forbes reporting he has become a serious investor whose portfolio includes music streaming service Spotify.

Pop star Rihanna landed on the list for the first time with estimated earnings of NZ$69.1m due to hits in the past year such as 'We Found Love', and 'Talk That Talk'.

She also landed lucrative endorsement deals with the likes of Nivea and Vita Coco, Forbes said.

Dropping four places from last year, Lady Gaga was ranked number five earning NZ$67.8m, while new 'The X Factor' judge Britney Spears returned to the list after a one-year hiatus landing at number six, earning an estimated NZ$75.61m - helped by a successful tour.

Kim Kardashian was also a notable newcomer at number seven. She earned NZ$23.47m - the lowest amount in the top 10 - but attracted ample media attention for her splashy wedding and divorce.

Pop singer Katy Perry landed at number eight.

Rounding off the top 10 was Tom Cruise at number nine with the comeback success of his 'Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol' movie that earned nearly NZ$912.77m at the global box office, and Steven Spielberg's various ventures in TV and movies earned him an estimated NZ$169.51m to place him at number 10.

British singer Adele entered the list at number 24 after a record-equalling six Grammy haul and returning to live performing after surgery on her vocal chords.

Among big names to drop off the list was Charlie Sheen after his 'Two and a Half Men' exit.

His replacement on the show, Ashton Kutcher debuted on the list at number 51.

The collective earnings power of the top 100 dropped slightly in 2012, with this year's crop earning a collective total of NZ$5.74billion, down from NZ$5.87b in 2011.

- Reuters

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Masseur drops Travolta sex suit

One of the two male masseurs accusing actor John Travolta of sexual assault has dropped his US$2 million (NZ$2.6m) lawsuit.

The second complainant is going ahead with his case, however, and his lawyer was confident of success.

The first complainant, referred to as John Doe No. 1, who claimed that the Hollywood star groped him during a massage session in Beverly Hills in January, filed a notice dismissing his lawsuit with federal court in Los Angeles.

The man was reported last week to have said he got the wrong date of the alleged incident after photos and restaurant receipts surfaced putting the Saturday Night Fever actor in New York on the same day.

"The case has been dismissed, but that doesn't mean it can't be refiled," the plaintiff's attorney, Okorie Okorocha said.

Okorocha said he still will be going ahead with the lawsuit against Travolta, representing a second unidentified man, John Doe No. 2.

This complainant claimed that Travolta rubbed his leg, touched his genitals and tried to initiate sex at a private appointment at an Atlanta hotel on January 28.

Asked whether he was concerned about the credibility of John Doe No. 2's suit in light of the first masseur's dismissal, Okorocha said: "Not at all. I'm not worried about anything with John Doe 2".

Celebrity news website Radar Online said on Tuesday that it had obtained emails it claimed were written by the Atlanta masseur to his employers that made no reference to the alleged incident involving Travolta.

Radar Online said the emails were written the day after the alleged encounter and that the masseur was asking to be demoted.

A third man, cruise ship worker Fabian Zanzi, claimed last week on a Chilean TV show that Travolta offered him US$12,000 to have sex while on a cruise in 2009, but he has not filed a lawsuit against the actor.

Travolta's lawyer, Martin Singer, has vehemently denied claims from all three men, calling them "absurd and ridiculous".

He did not immediately return calls for comment on Tuesday on the first plaintiff's decision to drop his legal action.

Travolta, 58, has been married to actress Kelly Preston since 1991.

He found international claim with the movies Saturday Night Fever and Grease in the 1970s, before going on to grittier roles in Pulp Fiction.

The latest allegations against the actor are unlikely to affect his career according to celebrity image experts, who say Travolta has overcome speculation about his sex life in the past without any negative impact on his popularity.

- Reuters

A matter of Liam and death

Monster movies are about the fear of death and none more so than The Grey.

The Grey poster

It is a surprising movie. You may be expecting a Liam Neeson action movie in the vein of Taken, but what you actually get is an existential howl into the abyss.

The Grey, out in cinemas now, is about a battle for survival in a snowbound wilderness with a pack of wolves slowly picking off the cast one by one.

It reminded me of the Werner Herzog documentary Grizzly Man, the real-life strory of a man who befriends bears and is, ultimately, eaten by them. In fact, there is a sly and very quick reference to Grizzly Man in the first 10 minutes of the film.

In Grizzly Man, Herzog grimly intones: "I believe the common character of the universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility, and murder."

That is pretty much what The Grey is about. It is an existential, primal movie about the fear of death and how to cope with the terrifying void of death. Not what you would expect from what is ostensibly a monster action movie.

But most monster movies are about death. I think US film director John Landis wrote in his excellent coffee table book Monsters in the Movies that death is the ultimate mystery and so we create myths and stories to try to make sense of it. That is kind of what movies are, telling stories in the dark to try to make sense of what feels like a meaningless universe and the devastating finality of death.

As the characters in The Grey face the bleak indifference of the wilderness and struggle with the prospect of imminent death, they confront some pretty meaty philosphical issues. As a result, The Grey is pretty powerful stuff because it confronts these big issues full on. It's an eloquent reflection on those fears and the conclusions it comes to are essentially humanist and existential.

There is one moment when Neeson's character says he wishes he could believe in god, but he fears there is nothing after death. We just have to embrace and appreciate the joys of life while we are here, he says.

We have to make our own life with each other here on earth.

A pretty powerful message for a monster movie.

Have you seen The Grey? What did you think? Let me know.

Follow on Twitter.

Canned US shows coming to NZ

ERICA THOMPSON

Kiwi actor Sam Neill's American TV series is among dozens of cancelled shows due to hit New Zealand screens in the coming months.

Neill's mystery thriller Alcatraz, retro airline drama Pan Am and Ringer starring Buffy actress Sarah Michelle Gellar have all been promoted in this year's viewing highlights.

TVNZ even held a Pan Am-themed 2012 programming launch party in November.

But the show failed to fly in the US after one season and has now been given the chop as part of the American television industry's annual scheduling shake-up.

This has left TVNZ and MediaWorks, who typically acquire the rights to these shows well in advance of their American screenings, in the awkward position of having brand new, but discontinuing series in their winter schedules.

Comedy drama GCB (Good Christian Belles), which premiered last night on TV2 after weeks of heavy promotion, is one of the victims.

Also on the axed list is Unforgettable, starring Without A Trace's Poppy Montgomery, the Steven Spielberg-produced horror thriller The River, Ashley Judd action series Missing and crime drama Awake.

Kiwi comedian Rhys Darby's American sitcom How to be a Gentlemen was cancelled last year after only a few episodes.

Bones spinoff The Finder and Prime Minister John Key's favourite show, Harry's Law, have also been shut down.

But many of the rejected American shows will still air here.

MediaWorks spokeswoman Rachel Lorimer said the cancellations were not necessarily a reflection of quality.

"This happens every year... programmes are renewed, or not, on the basis of how they rate in the US," she said.

"However, sometimes shows work here that don't work in America and if we have a first series we think New Zealand audiences will love, we'll play it regardless of whether it gets a second series."

TV2 programmer John Kelly agreed short-lived shows were not necessarily duds.

"These shows still have extremely high production values as well as being entertaining," he said.

"Many shows that are cancelled in the United States often rate extremely well here, for example, [William Shatner comedy] S#*! My Dad Says."

While viewers often complained about the delay in bringing new shows to New Zealand, fast-tracking American programmes had its drawbacks.

Kelly said it would mean being held "hostage to the American channels scheduling practices", which includes frequent repeats and breaks for sporting and other events.

"This would mean we could not provide 22 uninterrupted episodes to viewers.

"The US networks launch their new series in our spring meaning the new series would play here over summer when viewers are often away."

CANCELLED AND YET TO AIR IN NEW ZEALAND

Alcatraz
Man Up
Missing
Pan Am
The River
How to Be a Gentleman
Rob
Unforgettable
Alcatraz
Are You There, Chelsea?
Awake
The Playboy Club
Prime Suspect (US)
Ringer
The Secret Circle

CANCELLED

GCB
The Finder
House
Terra Nova
CSI Miami
Chuck
Harry's Law
Charlies Angels
Desperate Housewives
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

- © Fairfax NZ News


Shihad take a look back

BRIDGET JONES

Shihad talk about their 24 years in the music business.

Shihad broke up once. It was for three hours, they were in New Orleans and Jon Toogood had had enough of everything. Apparently it was the food that bought him back from the airport.

With a documentary about their 24-year career set to premiere tonight, the legendary Kiwi band are slowly getting used to looking backwards.

Of course, when you sit down with Shihad it's never straight forward - whether Toogood is wearing earmuffs and safety glasses or they are debating what constitutes New Zealand outrage, these guys like to make things interesting. 

This time around, their game du jour was forcing the normally very, very quiet guitarist Phil Knight to be chief question answerer.

Knight, like the rest of the band, has seen Beautiful Machine in a rough edit. He says it was an eye-opening watch, even as the subjects of the documentary.

"I tend to forget a lot of stuff and there was footage of me back when I was an idiot and I hadn't seen that at all.  I couldn't see it at the time.

"There's some amazing old footage of the first big tour we did of New Zealand back in '91. Just stuff I hadn't seen for years.  There was footage of our old manager who passed away in '96 and I hadn't seen anything of him for years, so that was a really big thing for me, seeing him on the screen was quite full on."

Beautiful Machine is an in-depth look at Shihad's road to becoming arguable New Zealand's most iconic rock band of recent years.

Award-wining director Sam Peacocke has called upon not only the band, but also their friends and family to paint a picture of who they are, where they have come from and what the past 20-years has meant to them.

"But here's plenty of mediocre band docos out there where it's just live footage and interviews and blah, blah, blah.  But when the director Sam Peacocke came on and the direction he took it, that's when we thought "woah, this is something special".  Not just a rockumentary, but a piece of work about four guys going through life and having to deal with stuff everyone has to deal with - loss, loosing loved ones, career.  It just happens to be in the context of a band that people seem to enjoy listening to."

From the band's emergence from the metal scene of the early 1990s, the death of their manager Gerald Dwyer, and the now-infamous American name-change, Shihad has battled, and won. Occasionally though, they have lost.

Knight, who has battled with booze over the years, says revisiting some of the footage was difficult to watch.

"Some of the stuff about me and how close it came to me actually getting booted out of the band, I guess that was sort of surprising.

"And the whole name change thing is still pretty hard to stomach.  But if we had it all over again, the film alludes to our personalities, these four guys, we'd make the same decisions again.  And it shows you why - it gives an insight into us, our childhoods."

Kids no more, there is something of a brotherhood within the four of them.  And even as Knight describes their longevity as "pretty weird", it's hard to imagine it any other way.

Shihad: Beautiful Machine opens in cinemas tomorrow.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Target and its hidden-camera 'shocks'

I'm kind of annoyed at last night's controversial episode of Target. In case you missed it (and please don't tell me I need to put a spoiler warning here), the team at Target employed a carpet cleaning company to take care of a filthy lounge floor and a wild red wine stain in the master bedroom, as part of their weekly hidden camera trial. The guy seemed nice enough when he arrived, smiling as he shook the hand of the homeowner (hopefully played by a paid actress). It looked like a pretty standard hidden camera segment.

20120516It doesn't take long before the carpet cleaner starts behaving inappropriately: he starts by rifling through the homeowner's chest of drawers, then looking through her laundry basket and sniffing several items of clothing. He wanders around the house looking for a perfume bottle, which he takes back to the master bedroom and sprays on a pair of underwear. He then turns on the household computer, connects it to the internet, and proceeds to look at pornography.

He then uses the underwear and masturbates - not once, but twice - then erases the internet browsing history, disconnects the internet cable, places the used underwear back in the laundry basket, and gets on with the job at hand (I mean the carpet cleaning), before heading off on his merry way.

Carly Flynn and the Target team didn't reveal who he was, or which carpet cleaning company it was, but they did mention that police had charged him with burglary and unlawful access of a computer. I'd imagine most carpet cleaning companies will be fielding questions of the "hey, that wasn't you guys on Target, was it?" variety for the next week or so.

But Target also left out one key piece of information, and that's why I'm annoyed:

How clean were the carpets?

Okay, okay, I'm only kidding - nobody cares how clean the carpets were. Even the people behind Target don't really care, do they? After all, we don't really care if the carpets get cleaned, the wiring gets fixed or the firewood gets delivered. We're looking for something shocking, something that will make us gasp in surprise.

We don't want any trouble when a repairman comes into our own homes. But when our entertainment is at stake, we want the tradesman to go through the drawers, pull items of clothing out of the laundry basket, look at websites that need to be blurred out when they're shown on TV. We want Carly Flynn to be forced into describing a lewd sequence of events as "disgusting" and we want to stare at our screens, our mouths agape.

Just don't tell me that the Target hidden-camera segments - entertaining though they might be - are part of some form of informative viewing. I think, deep down, we know - or at least, we assume - that the tradesman is going through our bedside tables and looking through our family photos, just as we know that the girl at the movie theatre counter is selling R16 tickets to 12-year-olds and that cafĂ© staff are selling alcohol to minors.

We know it, and we repress it because the awful truth is that we don't really care. For the most part, as long as any individual person's behaviour doesn't affect us directly, we don't really mind what they do.

Last night's episode of Target wasn't surprising because of what the carpet cleaner did; we all knew what was coming*. Most of us will have automatically made the jump in logic and assumed that the worst is about to happen, because we know that people are capable of the worst possible behaviour.

But film it with hidden cameras, and we'll absolutely pretend we're shocked and horrified.

Did you watch Target last night? Were you honestly shocked by anything you saw?

(*) No pun intended ... okay, it was.

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Alba comes to terms with sexiness

Jessica Alba has learned to "own" her sexiness through fashion and motherhood.

The actress is widely admired for her stunning good looks and up-to-date wardrobe. Alba admits she wasn't always so confident about her appearance, but having two daughters helped boost her self-esteem.

"Now that I'm older, I've learned how to own it, but I'm still not very overt. There are some women who dress for men. I dress for myself," she told the latest edition of US magazine Marie Claire.

"It took me some time to get here. Being a mom and feeling grown-up have helped. Now if I'm going to wear something short, it has to have a high neck or a little sci-fi toughness to it, an edge."

Alba relies on stylist Brad Goreski to ensure she is always camera ready.

Although the 31-year-old is eager to follow the latest trends, her outfits need to be practical due to her demanding lifestyle.

"I'm not going to wear stilettos, for example - even kitten heels are kind of pushing it - during the day. I wear boots, ballet flats and sneakers, but mostly boots. They're stable, easy to wear," she explained.

Although Alba wants to look good, she isn't interested in topping polls with her fashion choices.

She is reluctant to have too much focus placed on her appearance.

"I like to get positive attention," she added. "But if I have a choice between someone noticing in a negative way what I'm wearing and going, 'What was she thinking?' or someone not noticing what I'm wearing, I would rather not make a statement at all and just have a good conversation instead."

What's your favourite Jessica Alba look? What's your least favourite? Can you relate to her play-it-safe approach?

- Cover Media

Roger the Real Life Superhero

ALISTAIR BONE
The Knight Warrior on his way to patrol the city of Manchester.

The Knight Warrior on his way to patrol the city of Manchester.

From London, Felicity Monk is talking down her film again. She doesn't like the voice-over style so much and can see all the bits that look rough.

Another festival has picked up the documentary in the past few days.

She's not allowed to name the festival yet, but it's a Bafta qualifier - meaning its selections hold so much weight they can afterward be entered in the British Academy of Film and Television Arts awards.

"It doesn't mean we'll win, though," she adds, very quickly.

The 10-minute piece is the Hamilton Girls'/University of Waikato graduate's first film, made with a fellow Kiwi, director and camera operator Cathy MacDonald.

It was finished in December and the latest festival - in company with the Cannes short-film corner - makes four that want to screen it.

The streets of Europe are awash with film-makers who would dine out on this for years. Instead, Monk's just surprised. "Oh! Did you like it?" she chirps breathless, sounding delighted.

It's called Roger the Real Life Superhero. The documentary opens with Roger Hayhurst who lives in Manchester, a dead man walking.

He's 19, a likeable, weedy nerd lacking social skills. He bills himself the Knight Warrior and insists on dressing up in a cheap cape and mask and patrolling a squalid part of violent Manchester, fighting crime.

He is ridiculous and clearly no threat to any man, woman or beast. The film is clearly an early obituary. It must (it must) end with him stabbed to death.

It's a little gem. Curving an arc with end to end tension and drama somehow perfectly framed in 10 tight minutes.

Much of its coherence is down to MacDonald's years working in small spaces as a promo director for the BBC. It's the sort of easy-looking thing that inevitably comes from grinding hard work.

At least Monk admits to that. She discovered the phenomenon of real-life superheroes while reading an obscure magazine.

The article explained how ordinary people would dress up in costumes and go out in the streets to do good. A journalist by trade, she found four and, with MacDonald, traipsed around the UK interviewing them.

"We made it on our own money on an absolute shoestring and the hotels we were staying at were just awful.

"I hadn't done it before and I'd do things like twizzle the fuzzy mike, not knowing how sensitive it was. I'd wave it around and bang it on my leg. There was a lot of learning on the job for me."

Hayhurst was the last person they talked to. They decided to drop the others and concentrate on him.

"He was so different to the others and had this incredible relationship with his mother. He was so authentic. His motives were a lot more pure."

Hayhurst had been doing his thing for a year when they met him in June 2011. He is a slow-talking Mancunian who was very badly bullied at school and has a strong side-interest in gnomes.

"I think his mental health is sound and he knows what he's doing, to an extent. I think he is naive about the danger that he is putting himself in. Salford is pretty rough. I said: You could die doing this. And he said: I know. That's the way it is."

Hayhurst would stay out to 2 or 3 in the morning. Most of the people he met appeared drunk.

He lives on a council estate and when his mum can afford it, he'll take out food parcels for people even worse off.

The film doesn't show his getting in any fights, but they seem inevitable. It's like watching a kitten cross a motorway.

"The police had seen him stalking around in his cobalt blue, one-piece Lycra outfit and his cape and his mask. He told them he was a real life superhero and keeping the streets safe."

The authorities arranged for him to have a mental health assessment. He passed and the police instead gave him a number to call before he went out on the streets so they could look out for him.

"He says they often stop and jump out and get pictures."

Monk and MacDonald had a few conversations about the ethics of what they were doing.

They cut out shots of Hayhurst's home - where he lives with his mum and two disabled brothers -  because it was in such bad shape.

"They're just getting by and then these two foreign girls breezed up from London and they didn't know what to make of us. 

"They had never had a camera in their home before and they would have done anything for us. But the story is about Roger and his mum and we were in their home. We didn't want to exploit that."

The other conundrum involved encouraging his behaviour.

"We didn't want to come across as saying this was a really great thing to do and lots of teenagers should be doing this.

"And we didn't want to raise his profile and have him out on the street one night and have some kid saying, You were in that documentary, and targeting him."

But, by another route, that's exactly what happened. The pair have not put their movie on general release.

Trading under the name Earnest Productions, they intended their first effort as a calling card and it's a condition of many festivals that it can't be released before they screen it.

Instead, the multimedia units of newspapers have mimicked the documentary.

There are YouTube clips of Hayhurst, the most popular ticking over 150,000 views and more than 800 comments.

The majority of these lack basic grammar, syntax, spelling, reasoning, decency and wit. Many people weighing in are clearly and seriously disturbed, threatening rape and dismemberment.

"He has a Knight Warrior Facebook profile," says Monk.

"At least two people in his hometown call themselves real-life supervillans. They want to meet him in a dodgy part of town and have a showdown. He said they were all talk. He seemed remarkably unfazed."

Midway through shooting, the pair pretended to be journalists and snuck into a film festival for free.

Posing as a photographer, MacDonald was so nervous about being sprung she dropped her camera. But they brazened it out and got some tips and inspiration. It remains about the extent of their networking.

"It was such a new thing and all the way along we were thinking: Will we pull it off?

"I was so focused on getting it finished and seeing the end product and whether we felt proud of it. I wasn't thinking about the business side, which is half the job."

The pair have done a five-minute interview, tacked on to one with another pair of film makers. Tousle-haired men in scarves and round spectacles dominate. The Kiwis look nervous.

"In terms of the industry here [Europe], I'm really not in it in any way.

"It is pretty massive and pretty clicky. You really have to throw yourself in there.

"There are people who live it and breathe it and probably go to see each other's short films in tiny little theatres every week. But I guess I'm not one of those people."

Monk makes money freelancing for New Zealand publications. While her movie was being finished, she interviewed Regan Hall, a young Kiwi film-maker on the fast track to big things in London. She didn't say a word about her own film.

"I wasn't the subject," she says indignantly.

Roger Hayhurst, by contrast, is riding it. After seeing him first in June, the pair went back in December to shoot the second half of the film.

"Between our first interview and our second, his popularity exploded. He got an agent and was on two big breakfast shows. Newspapers and student film-makers are doing pieces on him."

The Lycra suit has gained plastic body armour and looks more intimidating. Roger has stubble, a stylish haircut and a pin-up on the wall.

"The first time he was shy and wouldn't hold your eye contact. Most of his teeth were completely rotted. When we got back, he'd had his teeth done and had his little Justin Beiber haircut. His whole demeanour was so different. It was quite a remarkable transformation."

He has a girl and a network of friends. He's going to parties for the first time.

"So this whole new world is opening up and I'm really curious as to what is going to happen: whether he is going to keep his Knight Warrior alter ego going."

The movie has been submitted to another 15 festivals. Commissioning houses are having a good look. The plaudits are starting to rain, but Monk is still goofy, maddening, steering by some other light.

"When I watch it I kind of oscillate between going Yeah! and Oh!"

They aren't obsessive about capitalising on it. MacDonald is already back in New Zealand. Monk and her husband will join her by the end of the year, following the plan they've always had, returning home.

They have ideas and will seek funding here, but the London coup already seems to be something they just flicked off on their OE.

Not real life at all.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Curtains up at Cannes film festival

Comedy will dominate the opening of the Cannes film festival this week, with Wes Anderson's child fantasy Moonrise Kingdom in a tussle with Sacha Baron Cohen's anarchic alter ego General Aladeen for the attention of the world's media.

Thousands of journalists and movie executives are in the glamorous Riviera resort for 12 hectic days of screenings, red carpets, parties and dealmaking, and the first day is typical of the diary clashes they face.

Anderson's film, starring Bruce Willis and Bill Murray, is the official opening entry in the main competition, ensuring a splashy launch with a press screening, news briefing, interviews and red carpet gala premiere on Wednesday evening.

Yet just a short stroll away along the famous palm-lined Croisette waterfront, Baron Cohen will also be muscling in on the action with a press conference of his own at the swanky Carlton Hotel to promote his latest picture The Dictator.

Judging by his outrageous sense of humor and eye for the theatrical, the British comic may steal much of the limelight as he adopts the character of Aladeen, a cruel North African dictator partly inspired by the Arab Spring uprisings.

Amid the pranks and late night parties, however, there is plenty of hard work to be done, with a giant marketplace showcasing hundreds of films and hoping to defy the economic gloom across much of Europe with a spate of sales.

"The economic situation in Europe is not great, but does it mean that we have to forget the dream?" said Thierry Fremaux, general delegate of the festival. "The (economic) crisis is not the crisis of this year," he told Reuters.

"It has been five years that we are in crisis here in Europe," he added, speaking in English. "But we have to manage a way to give the people dreams and to say that even in the 1930s after the big crisis, cinema was in very good shape."

RISING STARS IN SPOTLIGHT

Along the Croisette, last-minute preparations were underway today as beach pavilions stocked up with champagne and lobster, promotional posters went up and stages were erected.

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Sean Penn and Nicole Kidman are among established Hollywood names expected to grace the red carpet, where they will be joined by a long list of rising stars hoping to make their mark.

Cannes, as the world's biggest and most glamorous film festival, is an ideal platform for a movie and its cast. Silent hit The Artist, which went on to sweep the Oscars, launched here last year.

But notoriously picky critics can also make life awkward for directors and actors, as with the 2006 world premiere of The Da Vinci Code which received poor reviews.

While grumpy cinephiles is an integral part of Cannes, organizers will be keen to avoid a repeat of last year when maverick director Lars Von Trier was controversially expelled for making jokes about Nazis at a press conference.

This year, the festival has come under fire for not including a single female director in its main competition lineup after four were selected in 2011. It has defended its decision, saying it would not impose a "quota policy".

Despite the row, media reaction to this year's lineup has been generally positive.

In the main competition of 22 films, Brazilian director Walter Salles' adaptation of Jack Kerouac's novel On the Road has generated plenty of buzz, not least because Twilight actress Kristen Stewart takes on a leading role.

Best known as Bella Swan from the vampire blockbusters, the 22-year-old American will be joined on the sun-kissed French Riviera by Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson.

The British actor appears in another competition movie Cosmopolis, directed by Canada's David Cronenberg, a topical tale of corporate greed that follows a successful New York financier whose world disintegrates around him.

John Hillcoat's movie Lawless, a Depression-era gangster tale, features Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain, Shia LaBeouf and Mia Wasikowska among others, underlining the importance of fresh acting talent at this year's festival.

Previous winners of the coveted Palme d'Or prize for best film who are in contention again are Austria's Michael Haneke with Amour (Love), Iran's Abbas Kiarostami (Like Someone In Love), Briton Ken Loach (The Angels' Share) and Romanian Cristian Mungiu (Beyond the Hills).

Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey and Kidman all star in Lee Daniels' The Paperboy and Pitt appears in Andrew Dominik's Killing Them Softly.

Hot topics on the big screen include the Arab uprisings, with Egyptian director Yousry Nasrallah's After the Battle in competition, and the pitfalls of celebrity culture in Antiviral, the debut feature from Cronenberg's son Brandon.

- Reuters

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Reviewing comedy: no laughing matter

Every year I review some of the shows in the International Comedy Festival. I've been doing this for a while - and I'll also review any of the international comedians that tour New Zealand during the year, separate from the festival. I've been lucky to see some of the big names of comedy - heroes that I grew up listening to such as Ben Elton and Billy Connolly and more recently Black Books buddies Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey.Comedy Festival

As with reviewing music sometimes you get to see shows that you really want to see - and you also have to watch some comedy that offends on the very basic level of not matching its description. It's simply not funny.

I've seen Billy Connolly have, what I consider, an off-night. Or an average night. I've seen Terry Alderton do the same - but then I've been lucky to see Alderton firing on all cylinders too. The man is a virtuoso in the field; it's a bit like taking in a John Coltrane saxophone solo. It's engulfing. And even if it's not for everyone you can imagine that everyone who saw it, hopefully, walks away with some understanding that what they saw and heard was close to superhuman; was so very different from just a saxophone solo, or in this case just a set of jokes.

This year's comedy festival served up a few duds and some gems. I kissed a lot of frogs this year - barely got to see any princes. But maybe that's just me. As with music reviewing, when it comes to performance, you can take on board the interest of the audience, but you are offering a response - your response - to the performance. As it's always pointed out this is just one person's opinion. Why are people so surprised if it does not mirror their own? And does that mean they then have to change their opinion? Of course not.

Reviewing comedy is a nice challenge - because I believe that most people have an idea of what is funny. And of course it's often different from someone else's idea. It would be a boring world if we all had the same sense of humour.

I'm not sure that it's any harder - or easier - to review comedy to music. You go in with your knowledge of the subject, you go in interested - hopeful too that your evening is not about to be wasted - and you come out with a deadline: 350-400 words and sometimes just 10 minutes to jot it down.

So my approach is much the same.

But I figure that an audience might respond to a comedy review differently. Now this is not to belittle the art of comedy - there are enough average comedians doing that - but I figure that people feel more entitled to an opinion about comedy because they see it as simply someone talking. Anyone can do that, right? (And again, just to clarify, I've seen enough terrible comedians to know that there is no way just anyone can do it.)

Some of the best music has been made by people who aren't, technically, amazing musicians. But to be good at comedy you have to know the craft. You can then unlearn the rules, subvert the craft, make it your own, as Terry Alderton is doing, as Andy Kaufman and Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks and many others have done. But you have to know the rules first. You have to do the time. You have to have something to say and some way of saying it. And you have to have your technique locked down. You cannot last 50 minutes, or double that in some cases, if you are not in control.

When I watch a stand-up comedian live I want to see (and hear) risks taken. I want edge. I want it to mean something. And it can be clever and still be a bit silly. That can happen. Sure.

But it's not always the case.

The comedy festival is over for me - this year. I've seen all the shows I was meant to get to. I've filed my reviews.

First up was Stephen K. Amos - click here to read the review. I didn't find him very funny. I also didn't like his lazy attitude; trying out new jokes on an audience that would most probably laugh because it was a festival and because he was an international visitor. I know that new material has to be tested somewhere - that's obvious - but don't justify it by telling me in advance that your new jokes might fall flat. Let me decide that for myself. They did, by the way. Horribly, painfully flat.

I also saw Janey Godley - very good. But then I've seen her several times. I like that she is herself - in the sense that you believe it's her, that you believe it's her real voice, not some fake comedy voice that she puts on for an hour at a time (in both a writing and speaking sense). She's also arrived at comedy almost by accident; her earliest shows were very dark, confessional stories - an autobiography that made a lot of people's heads spin. Dark truths, uncomfortable truths. And from there she's learnt comic timing, pacing, delivery - she was a bundle of nerves the first time I saw her perform. Now the audience can seem nervous as she ploughs in with humour that bites, that's real. It comes from the heart almost as often as it comes from the head. But it's always no holds barred. Grand.

My review for her show didn't make it online, possibly because I had to do a split review and also write about local comedienne Jan Maree the same night. Straight from one show to the next, just a few doors down.

Here's what I said about Jan Maree's show:

Jan Maree spent close to an hour talking about how she needs to wax a lot. She used this as the catalyst for an excruciatingly unfunny set of reflections from a recent seven-week holiday where Maree attempted to find herself (not the reason for all the waxing). The punchline to a sequence describing a hangover seemed to be that she "vomited so much" she "needed to go number twos". It's a classless act. And then incongruously the show finishes with Jan Maree offering a waiata. She's a real Kiwi, you see. So there was applause. It made no sense - but in keeping with what was presumably the theme of her show it was suitably humourless.

Some others who saw the show might have thought it brave or stirring or real. I thought it was a con.

Terry Alderton/sTerry Alderton was next - not as good as other times I've seen him but I'm convinced he's a genius. I also liked how uncomfortable it got. I don't like the idea that these festivals exist simply so someone can tell a joke at work the next day, replete with terrible timing, that they picked up (on) the night before.

I also saw David O'Doherty and liked him a lot. He's easy to like. Again I've seen him before. And he manages, quite remarkably, to have absolutely nothing to say but still manages to make it funny and - most amazingly - worthwhile.

I didn't much like Steve Wrigley; not my thing. I almost appreciate his enthusiasm. But, as with Jan Maree, he seems to be an example of the local mediocre comedians celebrated because they've found an in; because they persevere but they never seem to progress.

And I saw Rhys Darby. And I wrote an objective review. I'm often told that my reviews are not objective - and that they need to be! So I gave it a go. I described the action that was unfolding. I pointed out that it was met with approval. I reminded people why Darby was famous, why he was a drawcard.

A week after that review appeared a man approached me while I was scrolling through my phone for music, waiting for a bus.

He asked if I was Simon Sweetman. I had nowhere to go. At least until the bus arrived. So I said yes. He asked if he could ask me a question. I told him that he could. So he did. He said, "with your review of Rhys Darby...did you like the gig or not?" Before I could answer he continued, "because you see my wife reckons you didn't like it at all and I reckon you did. We've been arguing about it."

I told him that, as was probably almost always the case, his wife was probably right but that he could break the news to her how he pleased. He could put whatever spin on it he liked.

There was a moment of silence between us. Almost awkward. Who am I kidding, I didn't know this person. He seemed perfectly nice, polite. But this moment was awkward.

So he chose to break the moment.

"Gee, that Ariel Pink gig was good..."

(He cannot be a regular reader.)

I told him that I had missed that show - in truth suggesting that I had missed it might not have quite been the right word.

Another moment. And then another. Awkward/slightly-awkward. More awkward. More silence. Hold it. Hold it.

And then finally he exhaled, "well, here's my bus". And he got on. And left.

Then I found the album I was looking for on my phone. And my bus arrived. I got on. And left. Leaving the comedy festival behind me too...

Did you go to any comedy festival gigs this year? Who did you see and what did you enjoy? Did you feel ripped off for seeing an especially bad show? Did you see any virtuoso performances? Do you think we need to go easy on the New Zealand comics and "give them a chance" or if it's called an International Comedy Festival do they then deserve the same treatment as the international guests? Aren't they competing on the same stage?

And finally - is Rhys Darby funny? I've see him perform. I watched people laughing. But that only confused the issue for me.

I'm of the opinion that comedians in New Zealand are more deluded, precious, paranoid and petty than any musician I've ever had to deal with. I get that it's a hard gig; you're up there in the spotlight. It's all eyes and ears on just one person. But who chose that gig? Who wants the good press when it suits? Who dines out on the numerous comedy awards, grants and TV show funding allocations we seem to be handing over without (any) discernment?Rhysie

Postscript: I was supposed to review Dai Henwood one year, but I was banned. I think it may have been because I wrote this. The timing seemed to match up anyway. And word obviously spread that year. There's a comedian called Jamie Bowen. He also banned me from his show that same year. Thing is, I wasn't going to see him. He wasn't on my list. He was not in line for any review. But he was so sure that he would not be reviewed, not by me anyway. I've still not seen Bowen or Henwood live. So, am I missing anything?  Are they two of New Zealand's greatest comics? Or are they two of the worst?

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